Andreas Masoura

Andreas has written 11 articles for Nouse

Exhibition at York to raise profile of amateur boxing club

IN THE first event of its kind, York University Boxing Club held a series of three round fights. The exhibition successfully raised the profile of the club and will provide the chance for members to take on other universities competitively in the future

Embracing a bright new future: poverty, crime and deviance

So Heslington East has been approved and is set to go ahead any time soon (in the next 20 years). That’s fantastic, if you happen to be born post-2009, are vaguely intelligent and are set to apply to the University of York (the expanded version as opposed to the current dilapidated expanse of concrete slabs)

Immigrants and Hugh Hefner: the perils this University faces

Immigration

I’ve just spotted an advert for The Daily Vision’s forthcoming recruitment drive. After promptly jotting down the details in my ethically produced diary (only two exploited labourers died in the Cambodian factory, well below average), I realised it was a waste of time

Pornography and weaponry: boys’ toys for YUSU and OTC

Given the generally reserved and predominantly politically correct culture that pervades the University, I wasn’t surprised at the sheer outrage that met the York University Officer Training Corps’ decision to host a ‘German’ Social

Terrorism, violence and alarming incompetence: Welcome to York

Incompetence on campus

As the deconstruction and deterioration of the University of York continues, with Porters being the latest asset to gradually disappear after the closure of so many bars last term, I sit pondering what might go next. Perhaps, with any luck, the Roger Kirk Centre might be bulldozed. The toilets could then be auctioned, providing funding for a facility or two

Fascists, anarchists and Daleks: the political whirlwind of York University

Dalek attacks students

Apparently a local York resident who is fed up of noisy students walking by his house has responded by constructing a Dalek outside. Once a student approaches the house, the Dalek’s inbuilt student sensor (the malevolent local huddling within the contraption) triggers off a vicious vocal attack

The last word

Andreas Masoura takes a satirical look at York’s main activities: bingo and stripping

Full House

Apparently the calm around campus during Freshers’ week was unsettled one evening after Toffs. Screams of “Bingo” cracked through the night air after yet another Full House was achieved. The mystery surrounding campus was soon unearthed as yet another pure, innocent and naïve student was deflowered. As well as having an unquestionable concern for the welfare of students, the Students’ Union allegedly adopts a hands on approach when it comes to helping freshers settle in

The Last Word

Andreas Masouras commemorates the end of the Nouse year by offending as many people as possible

Cavity Search

The Government has recently ordered members of staff at York University to be on the look out for any ‘Muslim extremist’ or ‘terrorist’ activity. These spotters will be required to keep an eye on particular students (the tanned, Middle Eastern looking ones like me) making a note of strange behaviour and performing strip searches if neccessary

The last word

Andreas Masoura has just moved in next door to our editor, whose house was broken into the next day. Coincidence?

Goodricke screws Vision

Unfortunately, this year’s hoard of freshers will be missing out on a vital part of their Freshers’ Week experience. No, I’m not referring to the kitchens in Goodricke that have gone missing, but to the delay in Vision’s publication

The Last Word

Andreas Masoura: this year he’s won as many awards as Vision

The brothels revealed

An exclusive Vision underground investigation has discovered the York brothel. Apparently a Vision journalist was offered sex for money. If you’re that desperate, go to Ziggys and buy a mediocre looking female a K2, a true bargain at £1.50. That won’t be difficult, we’re in York

Sudan faces uncertain but hopeful future

Andreas Masoura examines Sudan’s prospect of sustaining a peaceful future in the aftermath of Africa’s longest civil war

After over two decades of violence seen in Africa’s longest civil war peace may be a realistic prospect for the Sudan