EDITOR'S OPINION: Is Yoyo worth the crack?


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By Ed Smith

Cartoon: Holly Huxter
Cafe Nero has now also begun accepting Yoyo points: discounted geese available there from now until Christmas "Can I use my card?" "Sorry we don't take card, only Yoyo." That conversation, along with "oh ffs, they only take Yoyo here" has become an infamous saying across the York campus, but hotspotting across YUSU venues on campus, the only two places the Yoyo Wallet has colonised. It is a system that personally irks me and numerous other students. What's that I hear you say? What about the points system? Yes, "what about them is so worthwhile?" is a very good question because spending about PS3bn, in one of the YUSU outlets where Yoyo is accepted (it's not even excepted in University owned outlets), to be rewarded with a plate of melted cheese with tortilla crumbs, is a valuable investment indeed. Don't get me wrong, Yoyo is great for those who spend a lot of time on campus and want some hot food, but I just don't understand why it either hasn't been rolled out across all of campus or why card also isn't accepted. It is not as if Waitrose say "oh, we don't take debit card, only Wawa", which could lead many to assume you're a noun that rhymes with anchor. Indeed, it is yet to be seen whether Yoyo can reach the dizzying heights of Tesco Clubcard points that can be turned into a voucher for Zizzis. Although there is certainly room for hope, as Yoyo have recently announced Cafe Nero as a collaborator, meaning it is possible to transform the PS4.50 you just spent for ahot chocolate into, you guessed it, more hot chocolate! To date, I have never met someone who is enamoured by the product, likening it to finding a member of the current Conservative cabinet with any sort of plan for Brexit that extends beyond, "red, white, and blue." Indeed I would not be surprised if the UK at the negotiation table tried to bargain with it as they desperately attempt to cash in their Yoyo points. This would obviously be met with disapproval from Michel Barnier who would return the offer with a look of disgust, replying, "Mrs May you cannot exchange your cheesy nachos voucher for access to the single market." Despite imagining the negotiations of Brexit in this manner, we must return to the cold of campus which is now littered with the bodies of fellow students who perished during the brisk autumnal weather because they did not have Yoyo, thus not having a loyalty system to rely upon when their student loan and overdraft finally dries up. Naturally, a statistician analysing the deceased would find a strong positive correlation between the perished and those who bought a YUSU Platinum Card or annual bus pass, for it is clear that as a student there is a fine line between enjoying your life and being a functioning human being. Nevertheless, at the present moment it remains that Yoyo is an inconvenience at University which often leaves students rummaging in their pocket for two to three minutes, before finally finding the correct change, as they cannot be bothered to go through the palava of downloading and installing the app. Yoyo therefore definitely has potential, but the disorganisation across campus and the annoyance of having it constantly downloaded on your phone instead of the videoof your flatmate skanking to 'Mr. Brightside', often leaves my flatmates and I thinking "shall we go D-Bar instead?" Though definitely not on a Wednesday night. Who in their right mind would go to D-Bar on a Wednesday?