Poppy Bullard: Valentine’s Prey

Valentine’s Day: the chauvinist debate

Cartoon: Kate Mitchell

Cartoon: Kate Mitchell

Roses are red, violets are blue
(And this is part of the chauvinist debate.)
Let’s go out for dinner, I adore you –
No, of course I don’t mind that you’re late.

Here munchkin, let me help with your coat
You look beautiful- wow, you got rid of that pimple!
You use so many products, I’m sure I couldn’t cope,
(Of course MEN’s face care is much more simple).

I’ll choose the vino – I’ll pick something sublime;
With a Diploma in Tasting, I know my stuff.
Oh darling, please let me pour your wine
You certainly don’t know how much is enough.

What shall we talk about, my sweetheart?
Spin Class? How the toddler’s total torment?
I know you try hard to play your part,
But really, I’m far more busy and important.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your dinner sweet-pea
And it lived up to your societal conformation.
It really was my pleasure, you see,
To perpetrate such stringent gender expectation.

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