York’s sexy hockey humiliates Hull

York were pitiless in this annihilation of Hull seconds, booking their place in the BUCS Cup second round with plenty to spare

Photograph by Sam Newsome

Photograph by Sam Newsome


Wednesday 28th October – BUCS Cup First Round

It really doesn’t get any easier than this in university sport. In a game of perfect symmetry, with eight goals in each half, Christmas came early for York as Hull crumbled before their stylish and sophisticated play, progression to the BUCS Cup second round effectively sewn up after 15 minutes.

The home side, professionally attired in new yellow strips, averaged a goal every four minutes in this procession, which became a question of who hadn’t helped themselves to a goal. At the opposite end, York’s goalkeeper, who didn’t touch the ball, could admire the autumnal sunset and her teammates’ ruthlessness as the goals crashed in. New kit, new era, new purpose.

UYHC players old and new got on the extensive scoresheet: Andrea Pisesky and Natalie Montezuma notched hat-tricks, while Rachael Faustino, Becky Bradley, Karen Wallace and Emily Lucas grabbed two each. Even the indecent, inebriated cyclist who interrupted the hockey at Roses would have fancied his chances of scoring against this demoralised Hull defence.

The club’s Female President, Sophie Hossack, watching from the sidelines, summed up the performance nicely: “It was an exhibition of constructive and positive play. Fabulous play, sexy kit.”

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Karen Wallace on one of York’s many attacks, as Natalie Montezuma waits next to the Hull goalkeeper. Photograph by Sam Newsome.

As in last week’s 3-3 BUCS League draw with Leeds, York stormed forward right from the kick-off, picking holes in the ramshackle opposition defence and adroitly fizzing the ball about. When Bradley opened her team’s account inside three minutes, you sensed embarrassment was imminent.

Hull were looking as effective as a Kleenex in a tidal wave and, despite the excited touchline chatter about the evening’s Baywatch social, York were in no mood to rescue them. Blink and you would have missed the flurry of goals from Faustino, Pisesky and Wallace which moved the score effortlessly to 4-0 after just 13 minutes.

In exactly the same order, those three scorers repeated the trick, before Montezuma’s first extended the goal tally to eight by the interval. The majority of goals were elementary tap-ins, such was York’s ability to unlock a defensive four daydreaming vainly of the comforts on the coach home.

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Hull’s massed defence was powerless to prevent York scoring 16 times on Wednesday afternoon. Photograph by Sam Newsome.

A quick-fire double from Lucas, the second a penalty flick, meant York achieved double figures but, insatiable and utterly rampant, there was no letting Hull off the hook. Pisesky, poacher-like, deflected in a speculative long effort before Montezuma contributed another two to complete her hat-trick.

It was unlucky thirteen for Hull at this point but again York showed no mercy. Laura Pepper, quietly influential throughout, scored a deserved goal with a great hit from the edge of the ‘D.’ Bradley snatched number 15 before an ‘accidental’ goal rounded things off. Nobody knew who had scored it, not that it mattered. The Hull goalkeeper, ironically their best player, would probably have preferred to be in a library than hopelessly marooned on the Astroturf.

Twelve months ago, York’s firsts beat Leeds Trinity and All Saints 24-0 in this very same competition. Little did the players know at the time, but it would prove a high point in a season of relegation and dashed expectations. Here we are again, though on this evidence, a repeat seems extremely unlikely. The scoreline may have been ridiculous, but the performance was sublime.