Are you drinking what we’re drinking?

Shock spread through the office like anthrax this week as my in-depth research unveiled the horrific truth of the private life of Michael Howard.

Contrary to popular belief, nouse can today reveal that Michael Howard is, in fact, a 23 year old, 6’4”, 180lb black American man. Furthermore, he is in fact on the list of the San Francisco Police

Department’s Ten Most Wanted. Not content with being convicted of homicide in 2002, he is also wanted in relation to parole violations. It is not clear what exactly these violations entail, but presumably they are connected with some sort of ‘running away’ type of activity. It is still not clear what the implications of these startling revelations will be for the Tory party, whose initial response to this news was one of complete and violent disinterest. Liberal Democrat spokespeople, however, were quick to inform us that they would be happy to jump on any ensuing bandwagon just as long as someone could name it.

Despite the furore surrounding this article, it is still reassuring to know that the valuable research capacity of the Google image search has finally been highlighted by this information.