The Nouse Sport Podcast is back!

As the Autumn term draws to a close, the new Sports team look back on the end of the college football Winter League and analyse the progress of some of York’s BUCS sides.

Away from York, we discuss the Premier League title race, managerial changes at Sunderland, Jonny Wilkinson’s retirement from international rugby and the controversy surrounding the BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

College Cup Podcast – Week 7

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In light of an update from David Ambrozejczyk, who originally said James firsts defeated Wentworth seconds 7-1, and has since said it was actually 6-1, James firsts now have a goal difference of +8, which is the same as Halifax seconds. Although the goal difference we used in the podcast is wrong, it remains likely that James firsts will qualify for the Cup, as Halifax seconds would need to better their score by one goal in order to progress in their place, perhaps unlikely as they are facing Wentworth seconds while James firsts are playing Vanbrugh fourths.

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Images: Justyn Hardcastle, Peter Iveson and Philippa Grafton

York’s rugby firsts produced a scintillating performance to comfortably overcome their Lancaster rivals 30-8 in front of a packed crowd at the Huntingdon Stadium.

Tries from George Wissen, Tom Bugge, Matt Pollen and Will Sharp did the damage for Tom Weir’s side with 22 of York’s points coming in the second half.

The game was first Roses match to be played in a stadium and it would perhaps be fair to say the event somewhat got to the players on the field as the first twenty minutes passed by fairly uneventfully, the tension displaying itself in repeated fumbles. Neither side wanted to give anything away and as such the majority of the first quarter of the match were played in the middle half of the pitch.

The crowd had already resorted to Mexican waves by the time the White Rose took the lead. A penalty in the Lancaster half proved little problem to Fly-Half James Mortimer who dissected the posts nicely to trigger the pyrotechnics that celebrated each York success. This allowed York to kick on and they began to increase in confidence in the following minutes. However the scores were soon levelled as Lancaster’s number 12 ignored the boos and derision of the crowd to notch up a penalty of his own.

Interview with UYRUFC Captain Tom Weir

With the game tied at 3-3 and heading to the break Lancaster scored the game’s first try. The ball was kicked into the corner and the unfavourable bounce meant it was misjudged by the York defence, allowing the Red Rose’s Edward White to sneak in and make it 8-3. York came straight back at Lancaster and were rewarded in the final minute of the half as Prop George Wissen barrelled over from close range to level arrears, Mortimer’s kick missed to leave the scores tied at the break.

During the break there was the inevitable Lancaster streaker but it did nothing to distract York as they went from strength to strength. The first score of the half went to Scrum-Half Tom Bugge who broke superbly to score under the posts. The extras were added and from 8-3 down just before the break York had gone to 15-8 up.

The crowd began to get behind the team even more as the half continued, perhaps due to the beer on offer, and it seemed to drive them forward. One of the stars of the day’s earlier cricket victory, Will Felgate, thought he’d added another for York moments later but the referee pulled play back for a debatable forward pass.

This did nothing to distract Weir and his men however as they continued to strengthen their grip on the game. Next year’s captain-elect James Faktor then made it 20-8 as he fought his way through a few tackles and drove his way over the whitewash to put the game out of Lancaster’s reach.

There was time for another James Mortimer penalty and, with time running out, a fourth try as sub Will Sharp finished superbly to cap off a great evening’s work for the University of York rugby club.

York Sport President Sam Asfahani

After the first week of the College Cup the Nouse Sport team give their take on a good start for James, impressive performances all round for Halifax and examine the Fantasy Football standings.

Join the debate on the College Cup on Twitter via @nousesport and follow our writers to get up to the minute reports from the JLD (@jakefarrell7, @henrycowen, @peteriveson).

We’ve also got photos and match reports from every game, updated daily.

Another week, another Nouse Sport Podcast. The perfect accompaniment to that boring essay. We discuss all the goings-on from Week 8′s busy BUCS action and despair over England’s loss to Ireland in the Cricket World Cup. We also heavily criticise Alex Ferguson’s baffling hypocrisy in a style that often befits David Brent and we predict where the title is going.

Action Man Turned Musician Capable of Emotions

Even the hardest men have feelings. Desperate to expose these often repressed emotions from smashing shit up in movies, they turn to music careers. Killing terrorists for a day job and singing about the power of love after work. Bruce Willis, whose on-screen encounters with women are limited to throwing them down elevator shafts, also enjoys making passionate yet public love “Underneath the Boardwalk” (somehow The Temptations where convinced into this rendition). Even someone as fierce as Russell Crowe, with such masculine on-screen roles as a gladiator and tight-wearing outlaw, sounds more like a masturbator than commander in sissy lets-stay-friends ballad “Never Be Alone Again”. Worst yet are action flick legends like Steven Seagal, a man who has hands-on murdered more people in his films than cancer. Yet he is also capable of releasing an anti-war reggae abomination in which he discourages violence while singing in a faux-Jamaican accent – enticement enough for a musical Jihad.

See also: Arnold Schwarzenegger kraut-rock project.

Female Socialite Tries to Salvage Pointless Existence with Music Career

This category makes me so angry. Surviving as a Z-list celebrity is a hard life, practically akin to poverty: reduced to plastering your name on every possible product, bottling your own horrible scent and even having to run auditions on national TV for the small comfort of a friend.

Katie Price, ex-tabloid baps gremlin, in the down time between autobiographies released “Free To Love Again”, a song so utterly repellent that I only could survive 30 seconds of it – after the single failing to chart hopefully Price will never be free to make music again. Stateside counterpart, Paris Hilton, went one step further and released a whole album, originally entitled Paris. Featuring unintentionally hilarious tracks names (“Screwed”) and inexplicable non-sequiturs like “The Stars Are Blind”. Banksy even saw fit to replace 500 copies of the album with a version that had tracks names like “Why A I Famous?” and a topless picture of Paris with her head replaced by a dog. Nobody seemed to realise the difference, a total of seven copies were returned.

See also: Peaches, debut album from Peaches Geldof.

Privileged White Actors Try Make Hip Hop

A rags-to-riches personal story isn’t compulsory for a hip hop star, but it certainly helps for writing material and credibility. No one wants to hear about the life and times of an average white middle-class English Literature undergrad, that shit is exclusively limited to chillwave.

Fortunately, Chet Haze (son of Tom Hanks) is there to fill that gap: finally hip hop that students can all relate to. Haze’s personal mantra, “hittin’ blunts after hittin’ books”, touches on all the important student concerns: mainly weed, weed and college (in that order). Despite being in same class of lyrical genius as Soulja Boy and Tinie Tempah, Chester Hanks has been crucified by nearly everyone just for being a rich kid. Instead of being all po-faced about his undeniable wealth, Hanks Jr should have played it braggadocio, by now he’d be soundtracking Jack Wills shops up and down the country. His tame rebuttal: “Hear the haters talk, but you know that they be losin’/I’m trying to walk the walk for the major of my choosin’.” Well gotta pay your student debt somehow, right.

See also: Justin Bieber‘s 2018 rap debut, Get Rich or Bie Trying.

Fictional Indie Twee Band Ride Success of Movie

This isn’t so much a category as an individual: overgrown boy-embryo Michael Cera. But it’s not so much his awkward cyoot indie-cherubim schtick that 15 year old girls dream of being impregnated by. Which, by the way, is the plot of an unintentionally disturbing fake documentary in which some Asian teenager on a quest for love (to lose her virginity) finds the holy grail by “accidentally” meeting Cera. More painful yet are the twee sing-alongs and awful pun bands that always accompany Cera’s roles. Whether it’s the vomit inducing utopian ending of Juno, where the outcome of teen pregnancy is a rosy acoustic rendition of Mouldy Peaches’ “Anyone Else But You” – a bit like having a house band on Jeremy Kyle. Or Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist, a movie devised for the sole purpose of promoting its own soundtrack, which features Cera playing bass in an all gay twee-rock band called The Jerk-offs – apparently as its undecided only straight member. You might be comforted in the knowledge that these bands only exist within film (not dissing gay pop bands), well unfortunately awful named Sex Bob-bomb made the leap from Scott Pilgrim Vs The World to physical album form. Luckily for Cera, with the rise of Justin Bieber, roles involving him plucking bass while gormless staring at females have probably been made redundant.

See also: Michael Cera.

Musical Films and “Of course I can sing as well as I act.”

Even good actors have their price, and when that price happens to be for a role requiring singing, you can afford to learn. Hilariously miscast Pierce Brosnan traded in his acting career and soul for such a part in 2009′s musical torture porn Mamma Mia! Critics might have shredded him apart for it, but to me Brosnan deserves recognition for trolling one of the most awful movies of all time. Interviewed about the film, Brosnan admitted he’d prepared once by “singing karaoke”, described his own performance as “dreadful” and his reasoning for accepting the role as an excuse to take a paid holiday in Greece. Who can argue with that? There are worst things you can do on camera for a free holiday, especially than ruining a hit film.

See also: Nouse’s own Adam Bychawski, on late night webcam shows.

The Nouse Sport Podcast is back, but with a twist. Instead of the Nouse Sport team chatting inanities amongst themselves, this week we interview Sam Asfahani and Ben McGladdery – the two candidates for York Sport President.

What it lacks in humour it makes up for in informed, Paxman-esque debate. Get involved, and hopefully you will get more of an idea of where your vote will be heading.

This week we look back on Wednesday’s BUCS fixtures, analysing in-depth the women’s hockey 1-0 loss to Durham thirds and the men’s rugby 31-0 victory over Northumbria seconds, as well as discussing the women’s badminton, men’s squash and men’s basketball seconds.

We also reflect on England’s surprisingly entertaining friendly win in Copenhagen, the first round of Six Nations matches and the surprising news that the Tories approached ex-England star Darren Gough to become the Conservative candidate for the Barnsley Central by-election. Ee, by gum!

Nouse Sport Podcast

If you often find yourself thinking: “I wish there was a podcast that focused equally on sport at York and the wider world of sport in a humourous and irreverent fashion”, then panic no more because here is the week nine edition of the Nouse Sport Podcast.

This week we touch on the men’s badminton firsts’ 7-1 defeat to Leeds Met Carnegie, the netball seconds’ 48-26 loss to Newcastle thirds and generally bemoan the weather.

Away from York we concentrate on Mike Ashley’s sacking of Chris Hughton, muse on the Champions League and bask in the glory of an Ashes test match victory. There aren’t many better ways to spend an evening.

It’s that time of the week again. The Nouse Sport Podcast is back and once again we touch upon all of the pressing issues and some irrelevant ones. The big freeze has affected sport at York but we discuss England’s failed bid to host the World Cup in 2018, Jimmy Anderson and England’s superb start to the second test and the Carling Cup.

Lovely stuff!

Literally twos of people have requested this week’s podcast, after last week’s unfortunate absence, so here is the Week 6 edition of the Nouse Sport Podcast. Discussing everything from Wednesday’s BUCS action as well as despairing about Fabio Capello’s England, waxing lyrical about England’s Ashes chances and just generally having a good sport-themed time. Enjoy.

The third edition of the Nouse Sports Podcast is here. This week we discuss York’s mixed bag of BUCS results on Wednesday, question why so many serious injuries are happening and look forward to the Ashes.

Peter Iveson, Jake Farrell and Henry Cowen run the rule over the week’s sports at both Uni and national level. There were wins for the rugby and football teams, but the women’s fencers were less fortunate. The genius that was Gareth Bale’s one-man effort to beat Inter is also discussed, as is Rooneygate.

Produced in association with URY – listen online or on 1350 AM.

The week seven edition of the Nouse Sports Podcast features Jake Farrell, Leigh Clarke, Adam Shergold and Dave Coupland, Goodricke firsts captain, discussing the College Cup, hockey initiations and England’s World Cup hopes.

Apologies for the delay in this week’s podcast

The week six edition of the Nouse Sports Podcast sees regulars Adam Shergold, Henry Cowen and Jake Farrell joined by Vanbrugh joint-captain Dan Hewitt to discuss the latest happenings in the College Cup, the managerial reshuffles in the Premier League and the ins and outs of the England World Cup squad.