It’s that time of year again. Another Valentine’s Day… another Hallmark holiday… another year of your friends excessively posting on Facebook about how lucky they are to have found “Mr/Mrs Right”. Luckily, I, your dedicated deputy, have produced a simple guide to surviving the romantic season:
This column has been commandeered by a force much more potent and useful than having a Snapchat worthy date. Self-acceptance. Admittedly, not the easiest to just “acquire.” However, I’d advocate at least trying to accept yourself, flaws and all. In short, stop worrying. Fuck it. We’re floating on a rock in space. Stop scrolling down Instagram and wishing for a better Valentine’s Day. What does “better” even look like? Probably not worth the hype you’re giving it.
Of course I’m just one voice among the growing rabble of ‘self-help’ gurus, each promoting a different sponsored path to happiness. Truth is, these people have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to you. In fact, let’s settle the debate now and establish that no one has any insight into anyone else except themselves. Sound pessimistic? Or downright wrong? Good! That’s the kind of critical approach you need when you’re scrolling through V-day posts and making comparisons.
Obviously some people are more informed, or healthy, or aspirational than others, so I’m not boldly claiming you should reject everything. In fact, feel free to consider anything you see or read on the internet. Free yourself from the shackles of outright trusting or disregarding. And most importantly doubt, but also consider, your own thoughts. Sound contradictory? Not every small whim and desire you have is going to be good for you. But being a bit kinder towards yourself, lowering your expectations if necessary, accepting you’ll have good days and bad days – it helps.
We’re all different, after all. Not everyone can do yoga everyday. Or whizz off to Paris. You don’t need expensive presents bought for you to be in love. You don’t need to fit a certain mould. Your life doesn’t need to look a certain way. Especially 14 February of all days.
This isn’t to say that if you’re unhappy with yourself you can’t reach that state of “better”. Change is great. But we’re all different and there’s no way to approach happiness, oreven love, other than finding your own path. Be selfish. Be like me and take up your entire column with ramblings instead of Muse.