There are many things which are permanent in this world: rocks, student debt, energy, my housemate’s ‘love of disco’ (according to him)… but there is one thing that seems to be unsettlable. This contentious topic is the pronunciation of the word ‘Nouse.’
The Nouse puritans in the office swear that the name of this paper is a sophisticated triple pun, master crafted by a genius from the 1960s who somehow employed classical references alongside geographical banter to become a York legend. There are rumours that there are cave drawings of this Aristotle-like figure in the Borthwick Archives
Nouse’s Wikipedia page states that Nouse’s name is a triple pun. Firstly, it’s a pun on the geese ridden ‘Ouse’. Secondly, ‘nous’ means intellect or common sense in Ancient Greek. However, this seems like pretentious crap to me. My favourite pun is also the most self-deprecating. Hopefully it is true that the name ‘Nouse’ was actually formed by leaving the space out of the words ‘No use.’
In addition the name seems to be far from common sensical. No one seems capable of pronouncing the name of the pa-per without some kind of confusion. Many pronounce it in the same way as you would pronounce ‘mouse’ or ‘house’, although I do think the team share many qualities with mice (particularly how we hide in a hole in a wall called the office.)
Others ‘correctly’ pronounce it in the same way you pronounce ‘Ouse.’ However, this seems to sound more like ‘news’ making it very difficult to explain who you are writ-ing for. Walking around saying you write for ‘News’ seems almost Ron Burgundy-esque.
Therefore the most practical and distinctive way to pronounce the paper is pronounce it as ‘No-use.’ At least that way who-ever you speak to will remember the paper at least for its weird ass name.
I do disagree that No-use has no use though. It is great to use for paper mache or for wrapping your fish and chips in, and if you’re skilful enough you can even make origami swans or paper planes. Jokes aside, campus media is very valuable. Student media is not there for your CV: there are more impressive things to put. If your liver has survived whatever horrendous things go into Society’s jagerbombs then surely that is more impressive.
Being a part of student media does not necessarily have to be some play pretend version of the Guardian in which writers play ‘my dad is bigger than your dad’ with York Vision. Instead, student media can help project student voices to find out whether the university is actually successful.
Nouse is not just a university prospectus. If you have noticed that lots of students are dropping out on your course then why not let the student body know? Maybe you just don’t care at all about the upcoming YUSU elections, so why not explain why you don’t care? If you can be bothered to read this far you can be bothered to help Nouse be more than useless.