Kim Woodburn

TV Presenter of “How Clean is Your House?” answers questions from

Photograph provided by Kim

Photograph provided by Kim

It’s unfair to say that all students are dirty. Having said that, most are untidy! They are free of all restrictions imposed by Mum and Dad and simply do what they like. All their mates are doing the same thing and so encourage each other. After a few weeks the untidiness builds up until it becomes smelly and horrible. It really does become dirt!

Stuff falls out of every orifice we have.
The strangest, or worst stains I have come across were on some bed sheets that had been on the bed for five years! After five years of this the pong was enough to have me hospitalised! Thank goodness for a strong constitution!

A man once grabbed my boob. I was in my twenties, traipsing through LIverpool at the time. He released his grip and walked on. I turned around and shouted something appropriate at him whereupon he turned around, opened his coat and I saw that his meat and two veg were hanging out! It just wasn’t my day!

I have never had a desire to clean a celeb’s house.
I have never been star-struck so I don’t think on those lines.

My favourite song whilst cleaning would be anything by ABBA. I particularly like “Dancing Queen”, but I of course sing along “I’m the Cleaning Queen”.

Do girls beat the boys at cleaning? I don’t think so! In my considerable experience it’s fifty-fifty. They are as bad as each other.

My favourite cleaning gadget is a vacuum cleaner.
I prefer an upright. I love the way the attachments clean the walls, ceiling, curtains and the edge of the carpet next to the skirting boards. It even clears crisps and nuts from down the back of the sofa! (And whatever else you dirty beggars stuff down there!)

My famous last words? “I hope this church is clean and the knobs on my coffin are sparkling!”

My most powerful cleanser would be bicarbonate of soda. Just pour half a cup down the plug hole (using a funnel) followed by half a cup of salt and a cup of vinegar. Leave for two minutes and have a boiling kettle on stanby and then carefully pour in boiling water! A white foam will fizz to the surface. Rinse away with warm water from the tap. Low and behold the U-bend will be clean from sludge and any bad smells will have disappeared.

Of course students do not have smelly U-bends! Perish the thought!

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