Speedy meals: Indian Fusion. At 20 mins they’ve got it down.
Banter with delivery boys: Sizzlers. He couldn’t think of a joke, but at least he had a crack at it.
Presentation: Mirchiz. Not just your average sloppy curry.
Cheap as chips: Sizzlers. Full meal for £6.50? Yes please.
Reusable Tupperware: OneCook. Solid.
Losing your dignity: Efes. Oh the pain.
Losing an eye: Outside Okies Kebab. All of the bitch-slaps.
The ultimate carb-load: Any of the above. There will be a chip bap, chip wrap, or super-size chips with curry sauce and gravy somewhere on the menu.
Vegetarian options: OneCook or Indian Fusion.
Food-poisoning: Jumbo’s Chinese. Don’t do it.
Speedy delivery: Mirchiz, but you can BYOB if you go to their restaurant… so why not?
Breaking the bank: Dominos. Bye-bye student loan.
Banter with delivery boys: York Tandoori for making you pay £15 before they will deliver. No banter for you.
Blow your brains out: Madras curry from Mirchiz. If you’re not sweating by the end of that…
Dieting: Harpers. Oh the waft of chippy glory. Unavoidable.
Meat to everything else ratio: Chenab. All of the sauce, none of the substance.
Grease release: Efes. Horrendous.