The Playlist: Nouse’s Workout Plan

Treadmill trooper sets you a playlist to keep you going until it’s closing time at the gym

The Virgin London Marathon is less than a month away, and for us mere mortals, summer and the impending exposure of uncomfortable amounts of flesh is just around the corner. True, our ever-reliable British weather has been less-than-supportive of our active pursuits as of late, but there is no excuse for not hitting the gym. Here are a few tracks to get you all thumping on the treadmill this Easter.

1. Elton John – ‘Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting’

If Elton’s bite is as bad as his bark, I wouldn’t necessarily want to face him in the ring. However, this rocky intro is a perfect start to a strong and consistent gym session.

2. KC & The Sunshine Band – ‘Give it Up’

If a little repetitive, this track has a great beat behind it and will get you into your stride smartly and swiftly. NB – This one’s gold dust for anything aerobics-related.

3. Little Richard – ‘Lucille’

The heel-biting piano keys are sure to keep you on your toes just when you feel the need to slacken.

4. Iggy Pop – ‘The Passenger’

A jovial jogging classic. This one is a great track for the pre-halfway point.

5. Lil Jon & Eastside Boyz – ‘Get Low’

Occasionally you just need Lil Jon to shout at you. Ideal for squats!

6. Avril Lavigne – ‘Girlfriend’

She’s like “so whatever”, but you couldn’t do much better than “Girlfriend” for a sprint-cycle track.

7. The Cure – ‘The Lovecats’

Robert Smith’s crooning voice accompanied by a strong and steady base – “the cure” for any workout woes.

8. Kylie Minogue – ‘Better the Devil You Know’

At just over halfway through your workout, you will probably be tempted to throw in the towel and regress back to your life of dozing and daytime TV. Regress back to the golden age of Kyle Minogue instead.

9. Nicki Minaj – ‘Pound the Alarm’

Everybody needs a bit of seeing to from Mistress Minaj at some point during a gym session. This dominating diva won’t let you drop the pace and the chorus provides several excellent short-burst sprint opportunities.

10. Jamiroquai – ‘Love Foolosophy’

When you feel like you’ve lost a tiny bit of your soul to the gym, allow Jay Kay to feed you a little of his own. I’m not even just kidding…

11. Dire Straits – ‘Walk of Life’

What a classic! You can trust this mid-eighties golden hit to get you through as you make your way to the final stretch.

12. Skrillex feat.Sirah – ‘Bangarang’

At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical English student, dubstep does penetrate you in ways you might never have thought possible. This hit is guaranteed to carry you through dangerous moments of feeling that you are about to hit the wall.

13. Kanye West – ‘The New Workout Plan’

Thanks to Nouse’s workout plan you’ve made it to the last five minutes of your workout. Yo, I’m real happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but…Kanye has one of the best workout tracks of all time.

14. Nina Simone – ‘Feeling Good’

As the endorphins begin to hit home, don’t forget to stretch while basking in a delicious cocktail of perspiration and personal achievement.

15. Heather Small – ‘Proud’

Finally, this one is for when you are filling yourself with food which contains approximately four times the amount of calories you burnt off in the gym three hours prior. That’s right – as long as you’ve convinced yourself, you’re sorted!

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