GWAR’s lead scumdog, Dave Brockie, or as we better know him, Oderus Urungus, is full of filth and wisdom. Read more about GWAR here
Hello wench, sorry about before.
It’s alright, I know you’ve been busy ignoring my calls, anyway Oderus, tell me, why did you come to Earth?
I didn’t have any choice in the matter! I was banished here after being shot out of a butt-canon bested in immortal combat I assure you, it’s not number one on my list of places to be.
Did you intend to stay on earth for this long?
No I did not. I’ve been stuck here all these years, but when I finally did escape a couple of albums ago, I found out that outer space sucked even more than earth did! Sooo, I came back; I came back to revel in the hapless adulation you humans give me. What can I say? I’ve grown fond of you my mutant bastard children by my fucking apes.
Tell me about your love/hate relationship with Earth?
It’s not the planet itself—it’s not so bad as far as mud-balls go—it’s the humans themselves. I was warned not to create them, in fact, that’s what got the masters so pissed off with me is that I created the most annoying race in the galaxy (besides GWAR), that is of course the human race. I dunno, it’s like, the best way I can describe it in human terms is it’s like having a retarded baby. You can’t kill it, because that’s against the law, but then you get fond of it, you know, having to wipe its ass for it when it’s 24, and you know, that’s the kind of relationship we have with you people and I’d say it was beautiful but it’s not it’s disgusting… and pathetic, and grotesque. But it is what it is, whatever the fuck that is.
Your promoters don’t seem to like Europe so much – I was gutted when you cancelled the tour. Have you punished them for it?
It’s not the promoters so much, but I think the people in general. There is a small fanatic and wonderful core of GWAR supporters there, but it seems like there are a lot of people who would rather work on their patch collection and catch Lordi instead of supporting the most brilliant band in fucking rock n roll. So, you know, we’ll give them a little time to come to their senses, put out an album or 3 and then come over there and blow another load in their face and see how they like the taste of that.
Well, I’m sure there’s enough space in my bedroom for you and your cuttlefish if you ever change your mind…
I agree with you. I just don’t understand these fucking people – they book a GWAR tour then they pay you a deposit – so they actually pay you half of what they were gonna fucking pay you if you went over there just for you not to come. And our fans over there were like, there’s no promotion, nobody saw a fucking thing. It’s just pathetic something like that would happen to a band of our stature and majesty but there you go, you gotta blame somebody. Except us.
The biggest loss has been the loss of your guitarist Flattus, I think it’s incredibly brave and commendable that you continued touring regardless, how has it been touring and playing without him?
Well, we’ll always miss the sounds that Flattus made – we won’t miss his reeking flatulence so much, but the shows still have gone great. We’ve been trying to make the loudest noise possible in hope that as Flattus hurtles towards his home planet in his stolen scum-ship that he will hear us playing and think twice about leaving us and turn that fucking puppy around. But, so far that hasn’t worked, but that won’t defer us from making the most loud noise possible, because we’ve always thought that the sound of heavy metal was the greatest sound ever created and we simply can’t exist without it and just because Flattus saw it fit to abandon us here doesn’t mean we’re going to stop. Furthermore, people are wondering what we’re going to do in the future and what I will say is, all I will fucking say is, is that in the lower levels of the lower dungeons of the GWAR fortress, there’s rumours of other scumdogs who are still down there, and even members of the tribe of Maximus. There are more scumdogs down there then we like to admit. I’m a bit scared to wake them up, because I’m scared they might be more powerful than me.
Surely not. Tell me more about the latest single cover of the Dayglo Abortions track “Isn’t It Disgusting”?
Well that was the last solo Flattus lay down before he left the planet and he really tore it up. The Dayglo’s are a great band. It’s like the Dayglo’s are the reason why the human race have been allowed to live for so long – the Dayglo’s and bands like them, they embody the true spirit of GWAR and that’s what stops us from destroying you and even now and then we’ll even cover one of your songs and we felt the need to do that on this little thingamagga and I think it came out pretty fucking great.
Yeaaaaaah! Who are your other influences other than Dayglo? Metal can be really serious and shit sometimes.
Well you know, I love all forms of metal. It’s hard for me to even call it metal, I mean, rock n roll – you can go back through the GWAR record catalogue and some of them are more punk records, some more thrashy sounds, some heavy metal sounds, but whatever, it’s all rock n roll to me. It’s such a blob of stuff now that I wouldn’t even presume to figure out anything about it other than that I love the way it sounds.
Are you excited to be touring with Municipal Waste and Ghoul? They’re not as naughty as you…
Yeah that’s gonna be a great tour! They’re great and both of their fans are fucking awesome and yeah, Municipal Waste have a lot of banter with our slaves but in fact one of slaves from Ghoul studied with one of our slaves in one the slave universities and he’s gone on to create savage creatures of destruction for ghoul. Ghoul is like our little baby brother, and we’re trying to bring him up right, trying to show them the proper entrails shredding rituals.
Brilliant. How do you bring them up right?
Well basically, lead by example: a healthy regimen of baby humping and entrail-shredding as I said earlier. We do share our drugs with them, push them out in the middle of sword fights without any warning, give them confusing directions to shows… the list of abuse and praise just goes on and on. One minute you’re nice to them and next you’re having sex with them.
Haha, and how do you pick your victims for your shows?
Oh not really picking, so much more waving a sword around and picking what’s on the end of them.
Who’s next in line to be killed on stage other than your promoters?
Well of course, everyone who goes to the show; we’re always trying to kills ourselves, but that never seems to work out. But, let’s see… I’d like to wipe out all the American presidential candidates. They’re horrible, just declare Obama emperor and be done with this façade.
Do GWAR have any moral or political persuasions?
Well yeah, the ‘War Party’ was something we did a few years ago, but that didn’t work so we abandoned it, now we’ve taken on another political view point which is that all politicians must die, crucified on the planet of the politicians-who-must-be-crucified. Yes that is a real planet. When I was a young scumpop everyone knew that the only reason there were politicians was to be sent to the planet-of-crucified-politicians, so they could be crucified. We also sent the lawyers there.
Sounds like a good idea. Oderus, you’ve been through a lot of changes not just musically but aesthetically – do you prefer your mangina or your cuttlefish?
Well it goes back and forth, I’m blessed with multiple sexual organs. I’m a hybrid. A multisexual; an omnisexual. I can basically come and go at will. I can basically fuck myself! So, I recommend it heartily. And I’ve seen from both sides now and I’m a more complete person for it.
Which side is better?
Well… I would say both sides have their unique advantages – men tend to be raving cocks and women tend to be weeping voles. Erm, they both suck and rule at the same time, but in the end it all turns out to be shit.
You’ve been twice nominated for a Grammy a-
AND TWICE LOST!
Haha, are you bothered by your loss?
They say the third times a charm, all I know is they have great catering at those fucking parties – I look forward to losing a third Grammy and vomiting into my CELEBRITY GIFT BAG.
Is there anything you regret with GWAR musically or otherwise?
Hmm, hmm… hmm… I have to say no. I thought about it pretty hard and nope, no regrets. It’s all felt pretty good so far. I have to say the thing about GWAR is that we’ve never ever have regretted a darn thing and how many bands can say that?
Very few. We’ve had two fucking awesome albums in two years, how do GWAR make such good music?
Well we usually had Flattus write everything for us so I’d say we’re pretty fucked right now (laughs). But we are gods, so Oderus is gonna strap on the nose bag and go down into the lower legends, level, into the GWAR dungeon – I screwed up twice, both times I said legend instead of level. I’M LOSING IT! I think I have that old-timers or something. I’m gonna get worse the older I get and you humans can watch me fall apart.
How old are you now Ode?
I don’t know, I have no fucking idea. I can’t remember it seems like a long time… Millions, maybe?
You look beautiful for it.
Thank youuu! Well, it’s my strict regimen of putting my face into a bowl of potato chips every night or as you would say – CRIISSSSPS.
Hahaha, are you happy with progression of sound with GWAR or…?
HAPPY?!?! I am not genetically able to be happy, and from what I understand of it, it’s not something I’m interested in. I’m satisfied. It raises my loin in urgent fury, erm yes, before I know it I’ve splattered myself.
Do your loins not get cold hanging out in the Antarctic?
Oh no, cold is heat to me – everything is opposite when you’re in GWAR.
And what’s next for GWAR?
Right, now we’re beating the shit out of each other and indulging in our favourite winter pastime: penguin booting, an ancient Antarctican sport that basically rules around symbols. You take a penguin, you boot, no kick… boot? Basically you fucking kick it. You don’t have to wear a boot, you can do it bare foot (we prefer that) then you walk to where the penguin is and then you do it again.
(Laughs) it is! It’s soo fun.
Will you be braving Europe anytime soon, any festivals planned?
Noo! Not a single person has asked us back this year, I don’t know what is was last year, but it looks like we wore out our welcome pretty well.
Well you haven’t worn out my welcome!
Ha, well the fans love us, the people love us, WE love us, the people who clean after us love us, I’m not sure if the promoters love us. Demand GWAR you people of Europe! We want to come back, we miss you very much, if we don’t get to play in Europe we only play in America and Canada – do you have any idea how boring those people are?
Do GWAR plan on sticking around on the planet much longer?
Well we’re pretty much fucked to do that now! Now that Flattus took off with our space ship. It’s not like we can get a job at McDonalds or anything.
Do you have anything else to say to your UK slaves?
Just that this latest abomination which resulted in the cancellation of the GWAR tour is an ululating sack of pus on the festering blister on the underbelly of the sac-like situation – in other words IT’S FUCKED. That’s okay, it’s part of our plan and I know you’re saying, “what the hell Oderus, why would you do that to us?” But trust me, you gotta trust me, it’s all part of our master plan which I haven’t quite figured out yet, but when we do come back it’s gonna be twice, four times as good as the last time you saw us!
Last time I saw you I was green for a week.
Then we’re obviously failing, 6 weeks is just about acceptable. Somehow, somehow we’ll have to make it more virulent.
Thanks a lot for your time Oderus!
Farewell wench! We’ll be seeing you at the end of my cuttlefish next time we’re in Europe!