James Carney – Manifesto

To whom it may concern,

You promise us all and give us nothing
your incredulous audacity exhausts me.

What have you given me?
Three VKs for five pounds,
two pockets full of rain and a shattered mind.

Who are you, YUSU?
When will you be worthy of your thousand trailblazers?

Why does your commercial arm have no democratically elected representative?
A cynic would call you greedy. I’m an honourable cynic.

Go f*** yourself with your bureaucracy.
I don’t like politics, it’s showbiz for the ugly.

It’s our existence that defines you,
not the converse. And our existence
precedes our essence; yours does not.

The media charter is censorship hidden under welfare. People are good at heart.

You are a business and we are your paying customers;
the customer is always right.

We are not cogs in the machinery of money.

I sit in my room for days on end and stare at Facebook.
I’m sick of hypocrisy.
I’m tired of you putting the wrong into my rights.
It’s all an illusion, you know;
autocratic democracy imposed from up high.

The future frightens me,
as does our lack of volunteer work
and confused moral philosophy.

When I dream
I have and radical intentions;
microcosmic migranes.

My mind is filled with empty thoughts.

President, we don’t pay for you to write a blog and give the odd quote to campus media.

My ambition is to be President, despite not being a liar.

I’m tired of being approached by
spineless statues, college chairs in backdoor meetings union fixtures prostituting empty rhetoric.

I won’t make promises like them;
promises break before they’re made.

When will you ask me what I want?

What do I want? I want more parking spaces
I want more for my fees; I want a real collegiate system; I want better healthcare.

Being a student isn’t just about studying.
And what if I were international or post graduate in Wentworth?
The world forgetting by the world forgot?
I want activism. I want us to lead.
We are the them of tomorrow, don’t you know?

YUSU, I want to be heard!

I’m bored of your smiles and bastardisation;
your blatant pontification.

I’m sick of our so called representatives sucking
the metaphorical d***s of big wigs.
Big wigs are serious. They like big profits, holidays and chalets.
I want to stand up, not bend over. These great minds built Heslington East out of wood. Who would?

This isn’t a joke. I just don’t want to make a dozen broken promises in the form of a manifesto. YUSU is not an extended arm of Heslington Hall. I want to be the representative of a united student body. Together, we will have a voice and we will be heard. We should run the University; the University should not run us.

(more to follow online)

Regards
James Carney

5 comments

  1. this is actually brilliant. he won’t win the election because it’s too different and revolutionary for most people to ‘get’, but it is fantastic none the less.

    Reply

  2. a lot of people are calling carney’s ‘manifesto’ pretentious. since when did a brilliant poem become pretentious? it’s the very height of expression. carney is flirting the boundaries of art and politics perfectly here. call me a pretentious idiot but i absolutely love it. had this been the manifesto he has on his fb group he might have been considered a front runner but i doubt he’d change it if he had the opportunity. i hope he wouldn’t anyway.

    Reply

  3. ‘You promise us all and give us nothing / your incredulous audacity exhausts me.’ – how we all feel about those who make the same old promises time and time again.

    ‘two pockets full of rain and a shattered mind.’ – we’re poor and mentally overworked.

    ‘Why does your commercial arm have no democratically elected representative? / A cynic would call you greedy. I’m an honourable cynic.’ – no student has a direct say in the commercial aspects of the university since the end of the D&S officer.

    ‘We are not cogs in the machinery of money.’

    ‘It’s all an illusion, you know; / autocratic democracy imposed from up high.’ – we may elect a president, but all decisions are still made by a select few at the very top of the university.

    ‘We are the them of tomorrow, don’t you know?’ – as he said in his speech at hustings, we are the writers, the journalists, the academics etc. of tomorrow. we will be the people who define history so should have a greater voice today.

    ‘I’m bored of your smiles and bastardisation; / your blatant pontification.’ – aren’t we all!

    this is really brilliant. probably not the right idea to have it as an electoral manifesto if he really wants to win but it’s something you can’t help but feel will be looked back on in years to come and admired.

    Reply

  4. I like it.

    Reply

  5. Some good input on the comments there from James Carney.

    Reply




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