Special Edition: How to stay young

As children, we’re taught how to behave. We’re told that the world is structured in terms of absolutes; stealing someone’s possessions is wrong and telling the truth is right. Any situation can be rectified with a clumsily constructed ‘I’m sorry’ card; absolution comes in the form of an invitation to a birthday party.

Almost a decade later, this playground moral code is undeniably attractive. Despite desperate attempts to introduce it as the law of the land in the BeautyQueen dominion, the Royal Judiciary tell me it is just too complicated. There is no right and wrong answer anymore, they say, which is unfortunate because the stakes seem so much higher.

It’s all down to us, but how do we know what’s right? Are we taking an objective or subjective view of the situation? Who’s the injured party? Is that even relevant? The language we use may have become more sophisticated but the answer is still murky.

I wonder if the decoding and deducing we spend our lives doing is not all a bit facetious? Whilst we debate endlessly about Miss X’s antics with Mr Y and what does it all mean, we were probably wiser in pigtails than we are today.

Playground logic might have had it right all along. Keep your hands to yourself (unless given permission – cheeky wink), don’t take things that don’t belong to you, say your please and thank yous.

Above all, be kind. Bitter words, catty comments and revenge are as dangerous as they are tempting.

Just like in Prep School, your choices define what sort of person you are. We can’t control what happens to us but we can control our reactions. Play nicely with the other children, girls, because it’s the right thing to do. And karma’s a bitch.

In the spirit of youth, I introduce the latest anti-aging products I’ve tested. Prevention is better than cure, after all.

ExpertLift Eye Cream by Nivea – While affordable and easily blendable, I’ve noticed no visible difference in the eye area. While that in itself may be a benefit (gravity is kept in check), you could probably achieve the same affect with a good moisturizer.

The Pore Professional by Benefit – Despite being absolutely over the moon about testing this product, I don’t find it particularly effective. Don’t purchase it as a primer as it’s a nightmare to use all over. It can be applied over makeup so good for on the run touch-ups.

Hope in a Jar by Philosophy – a little Christmas gift, this face cream might actually be better than sleep for your looks. It’s very expensive but a little goes a long way. Forever is a long time to have a lined face.

Instant anti-age: ‘the eraser’ by Maybelline – I honestly have no justification for buying this product other than fascination. I actually quite like the ‘eraser’ although you’ve got to be careful to avoid patchy coverage. And I’m a sucker for an SPF 18.

Renewal Lash Serum by L’Oreal Paris – Surprisingly effective if applied to freshen up the mascara you applied this morning. Also, the no-bristles wand provides excellent distribution of coverage.

Age-Reversing Primer by Korres – one of the most fantastic primers on the market. It is super-mositurising and completely weightless on your skin. Recommended to me by the good ladies at Sephora.

Velvet Gloss lip pencil by Nars – If all else fails, distract people with really bright lipstick. I like this in ‘Club Mix’, more for kicks than anything else.

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