Halloween by numbers

Halloween by numbers

54.72 seconds. The time it takes the World Pumpkin Carving champion to, well, carve a pumpkin. If that’s what he can do with a knife, imagine what he could do with … another thing.

33%. The number of people who admit they believe in ghosts. To test, we dressed up in white sheets to scare the NOUSE office. Jones told us not to be silly and get back to work. Statistic must be wrong.

1584. A French explorer discovered pumpkins in America. ‘Gros melons,’ they were called. Based solely on repeated viewings of Pocahontas, we wonder whether it was really the vegetable he was referring to.

10. The number of steps in Wikihow’s pumpkin carving guide. We’ve always been a fan of the two step method. 1) buy pumpkin. 2) recruit freshers to carve. It’s character building. At least we don’t make them do it naked (football).

17,000. The number of films made about vampires. That’s basically just Twilight and porn. We thought about making one of the shoot but it was a bit nippy. We’ll let you decide which category it would be.

800lbs. The weight of the first pumpkin boat driven by a car battery. The plan is to put a festive candle atop Dep. Numbers and set her a-sail. Keep it on the DL. Health and Safety would never approve.

5. Number of ways to recognize a ghost. One is if they are incapable of speaking. Another is if they’re dressed in inappropriate clothing. So that’s basically all of Ziggy’s, then.

2. The number of names for the Zombie Apocalypse, Z-day to its friends. This is a particular senario in which those bitten by zombies become the undead and rise up to rule the world. The next one is 2015. Coming soon to cities near you.

18th century, Ireland. A match-making cook was known to bury a ring in her mashed potatoes on Halloween night hoping to bring love to the person who found it. Bury it in her ‘mashed potatoes’, eh? Whaaey whaeeey.

50/50. The liklihood Numbers will survive the upcoming transition. We feel our LPN (Lol-per-Number) trajectory will stand us in good stead. We hope to see you on the other side.

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