Five Festival Essentials
Fuck the tent, clean clothes and deodorant, just remember to slam these festival beasts on your outdated portable CD player and blast them at passers-by without mercy.
Pulp – Sorted for Es and Wizz
Perfectly suited for both pre-party and comedown, get off your face in a field to Jarvis’ sultry tones.
Cypress Hill – When the Shit Goes Down
Take a visceral festival turd to this Latino fanfare.
David Ackles – One Night Stand
Muse on the transience of love to this after disgracing yourself against moist tent fabric with a stranger.
A-Ha – The Sun Always Shines On T.V.
Play this and cry because you thought this festival malarkey might be fun, but Britain’s gone and pissed rain and shat mud on you for three days instead.
Usher – Burn
Traditional tent destruction on Monday morning at Reading/Leeds in R&B ballad form.