Mad Capt’n Tom runs for parliamentary position

Previous YUSU President, Tom Scott, is running as the prospective independent MP for London and Westminster.

He is running as pirate ‘Mad Capt’n Tom’, the same gimmick he used when he was elected as YUSU President in 2008. His policies include: a 50 per cent levy on Cheryl Cole MP3 downloads because he “can’t bloody stand her music”; fix broken Britain by providing duct tape in every home; require Apple to rename the iPad in the UK to iPatch; and the “not a pirate joke”, a complete ban on the unexpected items in the bagging area of self-service supermarket machines. According to Scott, “it just be irritatin’ me every time I be shoppin’.”

All of the policies and experience in his manifesto and website have been written in a pirate vernacular. He cites one of the primary examples of his experience as being “once interviewed by Lizo on Newsround”, and describes himself as “actually competent”, having “policy”, “experience” and “a duck on his head”.

He does not mention the University of York or his previous position within YUSU anywhere on his manifesto, although this information can be found by following the link to his main website, ‘Tom Scott: Making stuff happen’.

Scott describes himself on his website as a “geek comedian”, and makes a variety of comedy videos. Previous videos include how to cook ‘Salmon in a Dishwasher’ and ‘Two Drums and a Cymbal Fall off a Cliff’.

YUSU President, Tim Ngwena, who is one of Scott’s fans on the Facebook page ‘10,000 Strong for Mad Cap’n Tom: We Want a Pirate in Parliament’, said: “I wish me matey Mad Cap’n Tom all the best in his election campaign in West-Ministerrrr.”

Scott’s decision to run another novelty campaign follows an interview with Nouse earlier this year, in which he confessed that he didn’t enjoy the job of President: “It was bloody awful, don’t ever take a job when your first thought in the morning is ‘oh no, it’s today’.” When asked whether he would do it again, he replied: “Hell no, I know what it involves now… good luck to whichever poor sod’s got the job.”


  1. Both examples of videos that you give he made while he was still at York.

  2. Sad to see a student journalist without a sense of humour is belittling a York alumni’s – albeit bizzare – attempt.

    Not that Connor should care – this seat has been Tory since before Dennis Skinner wer’ a lad.


  3. 16 Apr ’10 at 12:54 pm

    Vincent Price

    It’s not duck tape Laura, it’s duct tape. Poor standards from Nouse.

  4. 16 Apr ’10 at 12:59 pm

    Tony Richards

    mmm, Good luck to him. I hope he doesn’t lose his deposit. The deposit these days is quite frankly so REDICULOUSLY high that the real Pirate Party can’t even put forward a candidate in spite of anti-digital economy sentiment being greater online than support for most major political parties.

    The deposit is in my view OUTRAGEOUSLY undemocratic.

  5. Sorry about that – I have changed the mistakes. I think I had ducks on my mind due to the nature of the story! I have not had time to do a lot of research as I wanted to get the news out asap. There also aren’t any dates on the videos on his website, so I didn’t realise that he actually made them during his time in office.

  6. …. Laura you wanted to get the news out ASAP but I think Vision got it up first. Sorry.

  7. “Sad to see a student journalist without a sense of humour”

    Who would that be then?

  8. You can get website update dates from his RSS feed:
    Or video upload dates from his Youtube channel:

    His most recent work is “The Technical Difficulties”:

  9. I will fight to my last breath to destroy the tyranny that will ensure if he gets elected to parliament, No man shall come between me and my love of Cheryl’s dulcet tones, the masses will rise up in bloody revolt if he attempts this! The only hope lies in his history of breaking promises (Where the hell is our cannon Cap’n? or the free rum you promised? and what about saying student politics didn’t matter?)


  10. 16 Apr ’10 at 6:39 pm

    Chorley Barman

    The guy’s a fraud! I hope he loses his deposit and ends up scraping money together doing kid’s birthday parties

  11. If he really wants to make a difference he should join an established party, like the Monster Raving Loony Party.

  12. Dear Hahahahaha:
    I suspect you are from Vision. I suspect both nouse & vision were told by the same person. i.e. me. Spare some thought for the yorker. They’ve had just over 24h, and still nothing.

  13. Dear n:

    Not from Vision, I’m afraid, just saw it up on their website first.

  14. Hahahaha, not the first time we’ve had comments turn into news stories – it was posted here: and on Vision’s live blog, which is clearly how they heard about it.

    We’ve got a recent comments page to help you stay on top of them, either click the big header Recent Comments or go to this page:

    If you’d been reading that you could have been up to half a day ahead of these stories, that’s an eternity in York news terms!

  15. Or maybe since I suspect that many people from both Nouse and Vision are following Tom Scott on twitter they heard about it when he announced it? Quit the bickering.

  16. I didn’t support Tom Scott before and I don’t support him now. If he hated the job when he got it last time, why is he running for this? I’d hope he got in just so he had to do another job he hates, but there’s a lot more important stuff at stake this time.

  17. He’s running for it because he lost a (rather stupid) bet.

  18. @Paul, he is running apparently because he lost a bet. He probably won’t get in as it is a safe Conservative seat (and because he is running as a pirate).

  19. Somebody get Paul a sense of humour.

  20. Didn’t Tom Scott use the “I lost a bet” line for his YUSU presidency campaign? The guy’s a gambler or a liar. But he’s a pirate so that’s probably to be expected.

  21. I thought that he was entered by somebody else for the YUSU presidency; didn’t hear any bet was involved?

  22. 21 Apr ’10 at 11:31 am

    It's not always his own doing

    Absolutely correct Jason. The first he knew about running for YUSU President was when he was contacted to attend a briefing for candidates.

  23. 21 Apr ’10 at 12:48 pm

    Really though?

    Didn’t he run for a sabb position the year before?

    So the ‘it’s a bet’/’i was entered by someone else’ argument seemed pretty weak. Especially as candidates are always emailed once they’re entered to check that they weren’t entered as a joke.

    E.g. Dani Fill was entered as a joke this year, but she was emailed and said she wasn’t running. Simple.

  24. I’m pretty apathetic to this either way.

    I don’t happen to think it’s *particularly* funny- I didn’t think the whole running as a pirate was that amusing- just childish to be perfectly honest- but that was his choice and he followed through on it.

    As for running for parliament, I feel similarly apathetic about it. Ok, so a pirate running is vaguely amusing, but what’s the point? He’s not going to win, it’s costing him rather a lot of money as a deposit, he’s wasting his time campaigning- is he a publicity whore or what?

    If I’m honest, I don’t understand the bloke. Each to their own, but if he didn’t enjoy his last little adventure as a pirate, what’s he playing at here?

  25. “If I’m honest, I don’t understand the bloke. Each to their own, but if he didn’t enjoy his last little adventure as a pirate, what’s he playing at here?”

    Simple, he’s a twisted recidivist powered only by a questionable sense of humour, a desire to get on to the expenses gravy train brought about by dwindling career prospects and an unholy aversion to the music of Newcastle Chanteuse Cheryl Cole.

    His diabolical plan won’t suceed! The hardworkingfamilies of Great Britain won’t have another people’s princess snatched from them, we’ve already been robbed of Diana and Jade, Scott will have to prize my copy of “fight for this love” from my cold dead hands!

  26. who’s funding the £500 (I believe) deposit that he almost certainly won’t see again?

  27. I believe Jason Rose is organising a christian concert held in an alcuin disabled toilet for that purpose!

    He only needs to sell 400 tickets so it’ll be fine!

  28. He is an attention seeker.

    He parades himself as a pirate because his own personality is so shallow, he has to create this alter-ego to validate his existence.

    His technical difficulties show is an embarrassment too.

    Hopefully he’ll realise that he isn’t funny, he isn’t talented and he isn’t original.

  29. I think some of you are missing the point – he didn’t enjoy the Presidency as much as he enjoyed campaigning for it. In a constituency where he stands absolutely no hope (though I doubt there are many pro-pirate constituencies) he is able to go about campaigning without worrying too much!

  30. Thankfully people in the real world actually give a shit about who’s in charge. If you’re going to create an alter ego at least make it slightly funny.

  31. Again, I think that Tom’s trying to be “fun” more than “funny”. And General Elections really could do with some injection of humour and fun, even though it’s a serious business!

  32. Tom is paying the £500.

  33. LOL at ‘a gentleman’. Brilliant!

    NB- its being held in transgendered loos, not disabled ones!

© 1964–2014 Nouse Dashboard | Edit | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Policies |