I had been waiting in earnest for the ‘Telephone’ video for about two months. Longer, in reality, since the ‘Bad Romance’ clip had only sated this Gaga fan for so long. The tension in our household was palpable. Each time the video was pushed back another couple of days, my flatmate nearly had a nervous breakdown.
“Why does she keep releasing stills?” he pined, his anticipation growing as child-unfriendly images of Gaga in police tape (below), fag glasses and her Fred Butler headpiece appeared. We refreshed Gagadaily.com every few minutes, hoping. We checked Nicola Formichetti’s blog for tips on how we could achieve a similar look.
Shamefully, when the video arrived in the early hours of Friday morning, I was fast asleep. I was awakened a few hours later by calls from the interviewees I had organised chats with the day before.
“Hi there, I’m from the York Traveller’s Trust. I got your email and answerphone messages saying you really wanted to speak with me.”
“Errr… Can I call you back?”
Yes readers, I’ve been a bad student journalist. I watched that video for an hour and a half solid (and it’s a hefty nine minutes and 32 seconds). I’m watching it now in another window as I type this column five days after the (frankly hopeful) deadline. I am in awe of its subversion of the typical R’n’B video at the part when Gaga dances in front of the Pussy Wagon, of its use of Jeremy Scott Mickey Mouse sunglasses to signify the completion of a successful murder, and of its hilarious dialogue (“Let’s make a sandwich!”, “[with Beyonce’s honey having been taken] I knew you’d take all my honey, you selfish motherfucker.”)
Most of all, I love the product placement. Whacking in a pair of Chanel shades or her new Mac lipstick was expected, but the diversity of product crammed into that video is something else: Miracle Whip mayonnaise, Wonder Bread, calorific Honey Bun pastries, and dating website Plentyoffish.com.
Frequent readers might have been led to believe that I have no interest in campus politics, but on the contrary I was Ents Rep for Vanbrugh in first-year (elected largely because of the widespread smears launched at the opposition), and helped run a not so fortuitous campaign last time.
I maintain that the reason my candidate came in a lowly third was not due to the team’s (well thought-out) policies, but because of the drunk abandon of the candidate themselves.
A particular highlight was their complete disregard for gathering important and influential votes from those running for other positions. In one instance an early frontrunner approached her/him to say, “I’m going to vote for you.” At this suggestion, she/he baulked, “Well I’m not going to vote for you so you can fuck off”.
Adding further colour to the campaign, the candidate was not, after losing, prepared to receive any condolence from the surrounding audience. One unfortunate girl said, “I’m sorry you lost, I was rooting for you.” The reply? “Fuck off you patronis…” *Falls over*.