Rule Britannia by numbers

42%. The number of Brits who believe in ghosts. This compared with 38% who believe in God. The later explains the CU but why are York ghost walks so deserted?

20% of British women go to work without wearing any underwear. In the Nouse office, it’s 90%. Hallo boys.

8% of British men do not clean their teeth when they wake up, meaning morning breath is all day breath. It’s not sexy, is it?

6 is the number of British men you will, on average, shake hands with who have just masturbated this year.

4,231. The amount of times the average person will have sex in their lives. That’s only 84 times a year, adjusted for puberty and old-age. Screw the porters, YUSU should be campaigning against this.

56% of Brits would rather have a smaller waistline than a higher IQ. It remains a constant shock that we are the financial centre of the world. Not an ambitious lot, are we?

1 the rating Sheffield gets on the list of those who have the most fillings and missing teeth. And there was I thinking it was V-Bar.

12. The number of pubic hairs the average Briton will consume in their fast food. Efes or a midnight shag? Now you can do both. Grim.

22 times more tea is consumed by Britons compared to the French and the Americans. It’s not a great statistic but considering our dire sporting performances, it’s all we’ve got.

3 Brits die each year testing whether a nine volt battery works on their tongue. That’s more than die from coconuts falling on their heads in the Bahamas. Less exotic, but we make it work.

1st. York’s own railway museum is the largest in the UK. This tidbit was given to me by my grandfather, in all seriousness, when I admitted to being concerned abut the lack of social life in York.

74% of British women admit to using holidays as an excuse to get drunk. The other 26% are lying.

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