The XY chromosome- the player

Thank fuck it’s freshers’. It was such a long dry summer, I’m parched for some female refreshment. Working in an office was hell on earth. Old, married women, all wearing trouser suits, like they’d completely given up on being female and resigned themselves to the harsh reality that it’s just better (and more appropriate, given that they were all dogs) to be a man. It was like swimming in a sea of ugly with no lifejacket. On the bright side being back at uni feels all the better for the sexual ice age I’ve had to endure for the last three months. Time for the thaw.

Definitely done a good job getting back on the horse. I hate to sound immodest, but I really am the fucking master. Literally one facebook chat, one meet up, and it’s pants off, wham bam and you know the rest. I hope she tells her friends. I have a feeling she knows Alicia. She’ll hear all about what she’s missing out on, not that I give a shite obviously, that’s ancient history. Still, be good. I’ll just check and see if they’re facebook friends, then if I write on Sarah’s wall Alicia will see. Perfect. Shit, what can I say without it implying that I want to meet up with her again? Not that it wasn’t good but I am a free agent now, got oats to sow, can’t be depriving the many, many other women out there a piece of the master. I’ll drop her a text in a coupla days, let her down easy. Don’t envy her, she’s had a taste of magic now, probably absolutely gagging for more. Weird she hasn’t texted me by now- probably playing it cool bless her. She was a bit odd in the morning now I think about it, didn’t seem especially keen to hang about long. Probably still reeling from the magnificence of what she had just experienced.

I will admit, it does still rather irk me that Alicia got there first. Not that it really makes a difference, if I’d dumped her the result would obviously have been the same, but being given the boot is hardly ideal in term of one’s public image. Course I told everyone that I was being kind and allowing her to maintain a sense of dignity by letting her do the deed- which is entirely true, of course. She may be fit (though I reckon she’s gotten a bit hefty over the summer, and the tan definitely doesn’t suit her). I actually think monogamy’s unnatural at this stage of my life, I’m twenty one, and I’m not wasting the last precious years of youth on one person.

Was getting a bit bored waiting to be honest. Had to display some emotion obvs, act the part n all, but it was all part of the plan. And there’s nothing like a good sympathy fuck.

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