Cup Dreamz: semi-finals with the prodigal predictor
The world of predictions' prodigal son returns for the semi-finals (Photo: Arran Bowen-la Grange)
That is right! Love me or hate me, it does not matter because I am back in your faces by popular demand. We have eradicated all the scraps from this cup as we approach the semi-finals, although there are still a few talentless people who have slipped through the net and find themselves about step onto the big stage.
Sit closer…
Derwent Firsts Vs Alcuin Firsts
The game that most people refer to as the “Real Final”. Yes, whoever wins this game will win the entire cup. FACT! So I recommend that you all get down to this match and witness what should be a well deserved win by Derwent.
Derwent are the favourites and have been all tournament, but obviously anything can happen…Joe Cooper might score, Michael Wynd might keep a clean sheet and Elvis might still be alive working in Poundland…
I have scored in every game, except against Halifax Thirds when I was hung-over, so I will be a constant threat to the Alcuin defence. Laurie Swan and Jack Crane are both two of the best defenders in this competition and it will take a huge effort to break down that solid twosome. Alcuin has a feeble midfield in comparison to Derwent, with the exception of Ed Murrills who has scored 6 goals so far in this Cup: Derwent’s Chris Barnett and Matt Hallam will have a very relaxed day. Dan Cox and Parris Williams are two very dangerous strikers if they are in form but we must remember that they are facing a Derwent defence who rarely concede.
Score Prediction: 2-1
Vanbrugh Firsts Vs James Firsts
Hahahahahahaha…That should summarise this game. Ok I will say a few words before I carrying on laughing. This game is pathetic. James college consist of Mark Johnson and Mark McLoud…they are the only two players in the team that can control the ball, pass and shoot. I witnessed this Jody Rolfe character’s last performance against Derwent Seconds and all I can say is that I hope he finishes his degree better than those one-on-ones. James College have nothing at the back or at the front just like a skinny girl. Enough is enough…I will personally tell Vanbrugh how to win this game: get Tom Sheldrick to kick the living daylights out of Johnson and McCloud….job DONE!
Vanbrugh, you are also terrible but slightly less terrible. On a positive note Vanbrugh have Mark Gouland in their team who is a quality player, but does he care? NO. His most common phrase this Cup has been “it’s only college football”. I would like to also point out that Vanbrugh have a good goalkeeper in Paul Taylor, even though he couldn’t save my last strike against him… That’s London Life.
Score Prediction: 4-0
40 responses below. Comments are open.
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“all I can say is that I hope he finishes his degree better than those one-on-ones”
For his sake I hope he finishes his degree better than you do Anton!
Lol. The scholar got merked.
I’m gonna bag, and Chan is gonna come off of the bench to consolidate his position as Alcuin’s number one sportsman.
Hi Anton mate. The Vanbrugh defence here again. Hope all is well. When are you bringing a new single out?! We check your myspace page literally everyday (apparently Matt Oliver just stays online clicking refresh every 5seconds lmao). looool. Anyway cheers again for this, we always appreciate the support. We always been told how terrible we are, how poor we perform, how bad our captain is, followed by several lines dedictaed to how great Derwent are.
We have a couple of issues to address though. We, the laughing stock, are in the semi-finals, just like yourselves, and your team’s been playing well. Secondly, we’ve actually played you, and beat you. This is something I always fail to understand with your words of wisdom. (Matt Oliver just refreshed the page again, still nothing). You talk about how bad we are, but we beat you and we’re at the same level of the competition as you. Derwent have played 1 first team, and lost. We’ve played 2, and beat them both.
Anyway all the best mate, I always love hearing from you and keep up the good work on the album (Anything Matt? Still nothing.)
Yours in Succeess
The Vanbrugh Defence
p.s. Swannie and Crane watch out tomorrow- when Anton gets tackled he enjoys jumping on top of you and straddling your waist. Its how he rolls. What a character.
As a massive fan of Dreamzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz music and football style I am just curious as to how this conforms to any form of journalism. Although he has clearly adhered to a strict policy of neutrality I think the real credit goes to the editing team within Nouse who are clearly talented and well versed in quality writing. Meanwhile Dreamzzzzzz can barely write his own name without letting his hand slip and hold onto the z character, let alone write an article for one of the biggest student newspapers in York which begs the question. Who on earth even asked him to write for Nouse?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?
Wait a minute, this is libellous (well, sort of) i don’t want to be misreported as someone who listens to Anton’s music!
Good predictions.
Thought so…
Merked.
Hi Anton. Hope your well flower.
We’ve got a favour to ask you. Now you’ve got so much spare time on your hands would you mind cleaning our boots for the final? Suppose you’ve got nothing better to do.
Well played today mate
All the Best
The Clean Sheet Brigade
you’re* (oops)
having read this i was looking forward to watching this dreamz character in action today in the semis, although i have to say he was awful. moaning, rolling around and constant shouts from his captain of ‘move anton!!’
i have to say that i expected somebody with such a huge ego to actually be able to play the game, i guess he makes up for a small talent with a big mouth, am i the only one who is glad he is a 3rd year and will be leaving soon??
I just hope he can take the positives from today’s game, and that he enjoyed having Crane and Wynds’ tongues up his arse.
prodical pants
Well, what can I say. . the only thing more ridiculous than these predictions is the performance of the author. If a certain Derwent player had focused more on winning the game rather than moan, fake injury and generally faffing about then maybe you would notice Derwent had two strikers playing.
Overall, the game between Alcuin and Derwent was not a classic by any means but Alcuin’s effective play and tactical mastery from Mr Cox was the reason Alcuin ran out comfortable 3-1 winners.
Most players from Derwent can hold their heads up high after the game having tried their best and performed to their usual high standard. Arguably the best player in either red or blue on the pitch was Mr Nav (Dont know his last name lol). I think the most important thing to learn from this article is never to take any game lightly. Although most people will fancy Alcuin to beat Vanbrugh, you can bet your houses Alcuin will come out fighting and we expect Vanbrugh to do the same. Good luck to both teams in the final.
lol.
everytime swanny plays anton, he is so bad. so bad today he had to feign injury to disguise his embarassing performance.
alcuin’s midfield really showed to be ‘feeble’ again today.. shame.
even despite an awful ref who gave EVERYTHING in derwent’s favour, all they could muster up was a penalty, (off another awful decision).
cheers then dreamz,
hope there’s a good final.
neutral
”I have scored in every game, except against Halifax Thirds when I was hung-over”
Why did you drink, all of that drink?
Well Dreamz you did get one thing right, Alcuin’s midfield did have a relaxed day. With Cox’s surprise tactics and Derwent’s lack of ability to react it resulted in the game being dominated by Alcuin, in particular Cormac, Murrils, Laird and Parris. In fact, make that two things, for as you also predicted it took a lot to break down Swanny and Crane, to be precise, it took a very dubious penalty. Aside from this Derwent were ineffective apart from the occasional piece of play by Nav. All in all Alcuin looked back to there best and seemed to take Derwent in their stride. Alcuin silenced any critics they had and must now surely be favourites to lift the cup, for they play the best football and have the most attacking team in the tournament. Vanbrugh, watch out….
Gary, Anton predicted that Derwent’s midfield would have a relaxed day: “…Derwent’s Chris Barnett and Matt Hallam will have a very relaxed day.”
So in fact he got nothing right.
Can Swanny let you out of his back pocket now? It’s been the best part of three years now, lets be fair….
dreamz wrote Vanbrugh off
now t chickens are comin home t roost
the green army are chasin the golden goose
and Anton is left with egg on his face
I am so pleased that superstar “Dreams” chose to emulate my kind of performance in the college cup semi final. Reminds me of my performance against Everton in the FA Cup, it brings a tear to my eye. The only difference between us is that I can control a football.
Keep your head up Anthony. You were right to do no work. You were right to not want to find space. You were right to feign injury to attempt to hide your shame, it’s just unlucky that you did it in front of University students who could see through your facade. You were right to get slammed by your own captain at every turn (just like me and Gary Neville, I hate that man).
You are such a good friend to Nav, sacrificing your own performance to make him look absolutely class (unlucky to this man by the way). However, as I always say, Nav’s muscles must ache this morning so he has wasted his energy in defeat, whilst you will be as fresh as a daisy.
Keep throwing insults Vanbrugh’s way too, keep writing them off. You look so good when they prove you wrong. You look so knowledgeable.
All the best,
Dimi
xx
Fair play to Dom Henney and Derwent overall though.
Played cleanly, rarely twisted at the ref and were all very gracious in defeat.
The game yesterday would have been a fitting final.
majestic – that’s cos the ref gave everyting in derwent’s favour. it was laughable on occasions.
but all in all, the game was played in decent spirit between the best two teams in the cup and fair play to both teams for attacking each other. it made for a good game….maybe vanbrugh could learn a thing or too rather than persisting with their catenaccio style, playing for pens from the first minute trying to choke the life out of teams.
good luck alcuin. well played derwent tho
It’s not our fault we’re better at pens than everyone else.
shame really that every1 can’t see that mr murphy is havin a laugh he has to be laughin even harder with most of these pathetic retorts, You haters are all jealous douches and shud realy get lifes
you alcuin guys are all squares. derwent have way cooler playaz. know that.
Asprilla = class
anyone who says “playaz” doesn’t have the right to call anyone a square. What’s not debatable is that Alcuin are the better team
Alcuin are playa haters. Ive never seen one of them keeping it real at any stage. It sickens me theyve got through, when i heard the result I put my foot through the laptop and sent dan cox the bill.
No one ish hating on, how you say, Dreamsh. The good people are jusht shelebrating that hish shtupid predictionsh were errr, how you say, errr rubbish.
lol…well done Alcuin and thank you to all those people who have made comments about me being bad at football…lol…
OK…BUCS top goalscorer for the university firsts this year? Was I? errr yeah…
You all love me, and if you do not, then you are scared to say it to my face cos lets be fair….ha…Do u wanna war?….In your DREAMZ!
hahahahahaha….
The roof is on firrreeeeeeeeeee!!!
P.s Vanbrugh are a pile of trash!
And…Yeah I am not good enough to get past Swanny? You lot have lost the plot?!
I deal with FACTS not fiction…
And that is right I am the newest member of the NOUSE team…haha…Suck a lemon…:)
i love anton, he gives hope to all public school boys that they can cast off their nerdy, posh image and turn into rootin’ tootin’ gangsters just like he has. keep trucking trooper!
Everyone at this Uni is rubbish at football, that’s why we’re at University and not playing football. You might look decent against college seconds and thirds sides, or against University reserves but in the grand scheme of things everyone here’s a rubbish footballer. I don’t know the reason behind Cloudy not making it at Darlington but the best player at this Uni couldn’t make it at a league two side.
People need to take a reality check, it’s the York Uni College Cup and everyone’s swanning (excuse the pun) around like it’s the Champions League. The banter’s been great, and Dreamz has been at the forefront of that, but if anyone thinks they’re a class footballer then they’re sadly wrong.
anon, when it comes to judging someone’s ability at football, it’s all relative. League 2 standard players are rubbish compared to premier league standard players, and premier league standard players are rubbish compared to world class player such as Ronaldo, Messi or iniesta. Course no-one here is great compared to professionals, that’s a pointless statement because no-one claims to be. At the end of the day, everyone is having a laugh playing in the tournament and having a bit of banter about it. But thank-you for opening our eyes.
I was the best player in York University history FACT
I’ve done OK, considering I wouldn’t get in Derwent 1st’s
You should have a word with Eileen Drewery mate, she’d sort out your drink issues…
Check ystv for the proper predictions. Vanbrugh will probably win 7-2 with 4 goals coming from hewitt the hero (self proclaimed)
I love college cup, it really goes down to who wants it more, who is going to go that extra mile, who is going to graze all of their knees for the team. Football has shown time and time again that talent and skill only gets you so far, football like every other team game is as much about tactics and teamwork and thats what is so evident in the college cup.
To all those who want to put the college cup down saying that the players are crap and not talented I have to disagree. Have you seen Titus bramble?! Swanny over him anyday. What about Jon Stead, not be funny but I could of scored more than 1 goal in 28 starts in the premiership.
So everyone get behind the college cup, make it down for the final tomrrow afternoon, and I will be totally pissed if I do not hear some raving banter on the sidelines.
Kl.
I scored quite a few more than 1 in the premiership