In 1939, Maurice Gamelin, the French World War Two general, said the French forces would “dismiss Germany like a man hitting a lame rabbit with a spade”. Ever since, no-one has really topped Gamelin’s chronic lack of prescience. Until, that is, the men’s firsts squash match, at which Lancaster’s captain Daglish proclaimed that he was “60% confident of victory”.
And so it was that, just like Hitler’s tanks storming bathetically through the French forest, the York men’s squash team struck through the very heart of Lancaster, capturing the metaphorical Eiffel Tower of victory before two matches had to be played and dropping only two games in the process. It was the purest alabaster of whitewashes.
The only real scare was for York number three Paul Atkinson who took part in a game wrought with emotional turmoil and physical agony. Atkinson faced a player, known only as ‘Jez’, who was supposed to be the Lancaster number one, but having sustained an ankle injury, found himself lower down the pecking order.
But by the end of Atkinson’s third game, the points were already secure for York after James Birkhead, captain Tom Davenhill and Matt Pollen wrapped up victories. Final score: 5-0 to York.
In the weekend’s other squash action, the women’s firsts romped to a 5-0 whitewash, while the men’s seconds, a new venture this season, also won convincingly, 5-0.
“I’m very proud of the whole club, the supporters were great and all three teams came out and did their best. The result is definitely a representation of a lot of had work and effort,” said Johanna Augustus, the women’s squash captain.