Isaac Hewlings
So here we are, venturing into the New Year bloated, hazy and not a little hung-over. The fattened calf was slaughtered, and yes, it was good. For anyone as greedy as myself, Christmas is a unique period in which to justifiably consume downright outrageous amounts of food and alcohol – the richer the better. The pleasures of this gout-inducing festival are glorious but, being an atheist, the festivities feel a little phoney – the season and its subsequent turgidity is more or less unjustified. The crucial aspect being celebrated just doesn’t wash: it’s a bit like being at someone’s twenty-first and harbouring suspicions that they’re actually twelve. So whilst pondering this problem by the fire, in some kind of port and Stilton induced haze, I think I discovered a solution.
Enter: “The Don”, “Soul-Brother Number One”, “The Hardest-Working Man In Show Business”, James Brown himself. As some of you may know, James Brown died on none other than Christmas Day, 2006. Perhaps this event could give some meaning to my otherwise dangerously circumspect rejoicing. Whilst he could have timed it better (with Easter perhaps?), James didn’t do badly. Instead of celebrating the birth of Jesus, I suggest we celebrate the ending of the extraordinary funksmanship that was James Brown’s life. My proposition is thus: for those of us who don’t believe in the crucial aspects of Jesus Christ that warrant celebrating his birth, how about celebrating the death of quite possibly the funkiest man ever born? This is a man whose song names include: ‘Hot Pants’, ‘Get Up’, ‘I Feel Good’ and ‘Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag’. This was a man who could command as impressive an array of suggestive nonsense as has ever been seen before. In response to the question (whilst on Fox News, about to his imminent divorce), “What will you say to your fans about this?” “I feel good…papa’s got a brand new bag, it’s a man’s world!” Indeed.
His final years were much like his first, turbulent and complicated. His rise was as unlikely as it was extraordinary. He never knew his father and was raised by his aunt, who ran a bordello house (father never around, socialised with prostitutes… Remind you of anyone?). He later joined a gospel choir, the first step towards his subsequent rise to fame. Whilst off-stage his life was always unconventional, his contribution to the black power movement and to the soul and funk genres are worthy of praise. Modern hip-hop and R’n’B owe as great a debt to James Brown as any other musician in history. So much so that Michael Jackson cited him as his foremost influence in both music and dance repertoires.
In addition, funk, much like Christmas, is extremely good for alleviating the winter blues. Go watch a video of one of his performances on Youtube and try not to be invigorated. I’m fairly sure it’s impossible. What then, could be more apt to dispel the midwinter gloom? In the words of the great man himself, “When I’m on stage, I’m trying to do one thing: bring people joy. Just like church does. People don’t go to church to find trouble, they go there to lose it.”
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