Persian split pea stew

by Will Heaven | October 15th, 2008

Serves 4-5

1 large onion
1 garlic clove
1 aubergine
200g of yellow split peas
turmeric
Cinnamon
4 Chicken breasts or lamb

So its President isn’t exactly kosher. And yes, buried in the Zagros mountains there is probably a warhead warehouse nearing completion. But Iran does some things well: like Khoresht-e-Gheimeh. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to pronounce that word, even if you buy a teach yourself Farsi CD. So give up now, stop trying to be raffishly ethnic, and call it Persian split pea stew.

For this dish, you need to plan ahead. Split peas may cook faster than unsplit peas, but they are still hard, crunchy and dry. So before you cook them, leave them in warm water for three hours to soften.

Once that three hours is over – and let’s face it, you’ve just watched Friends, then Scrubs, then Friends again on E4 + 1 – the real cooking begins. Fry the onion over a moderate heat until it turns golden brown (like an Autumn leaf), then add the garlic. Garlic, Goodfellas tells us, is best chopped up extra thin using a razor blade – so do it. Then add the meat. If you are Persian you’ll go for lamb, but chicken’s fine too.

Season this with cinnamon, turmeric and (freshly ground) salt and pepper. Stir and turn the heat up a bit. When the meat is sealed, add the chopped tomatoes (not “with added herbs”), the drained split peas and the tomato puree. Mix in two cupfuls of water and let it simmer with the lid on.

While this happens, for a few minutes soften the chunks of lightly salted aubergine in a pan. When they are a bit mulchy and brown put them in the stew. It will need to cook for another half an hour with the lid on. Keep stirring and add boiled water if you think it needs it.

Rice. If you can master this, then President Ahmadinejad salutes you. Add basmati – not really Iranian, but it’ll do - to boiling water. After five minutes take the half-cooked rice and drain it. Now, put it back on an extremely low heat with the lid on to steam it until it’s well fluffy. Now, serve it up with a smile to Barack Obama and watch him squirm.