Will Heaven’s Granny’s Kedgeree


350 smoked haddock
30g butter
1 onion, garlic
2 tsps medium curry powder
200 ml double cream
150g basmati rice
3 hard boiled eggs


My granny is a little bit bonkers. Not in the same way as her husband – who thinks he is a Captain in the navy again – but bonkers nonetheless. While he parades around the house shutting the curtains at midday and ordering the dog to stand up straight, she (aged 80) plays tennis and makes delicious wedding cakes.

But she is ‘country’ through and through. Last year I was driving along following her car. Suddenly, she hit a pheasant. It wasn’t quite dead, but wandered vaguely around the road looking dishevelled. Without hesitating, Granny stopped and climbed out of the car. Walking over to the bird, she took off her shoe and hit it, once, on the head. Now it was properly dead. She picked it up, walked over to her car, opened the boot and lobbed the pheasant in. She later fed it to the dog – claiming that road kill is often “remarkably fresh”. Honestly, it’s amazing I’m this normal.

Aside from her pheasant road rage, though, Granny makes a great kedgeree. This dish harks back to British India. It’s basically flaked fish, rice, eggs and butter with a little bit of spice. The Victorians had it for breakfast because the Anglo-Indians liked to eat freshly caught fish – but with the advent of the fridge, I prefer it later on in the day. It could hardly be healthier if it tried and it tastes wonderful. You’ll see.
Make the curry sauce first. Start with the butter, garlic and onion in a small saucepan and cook till everything is soft. Add the curry powder and the fish stock next (a good cube will do). Bring it to the boil and allow it all to reduce by half. Then add the cream and simmer for 20 mins. While this is doing, cook the smoked haddock and hard boil the eggs (for ten minutes). Get someone else to cook the rice in salted water (after they’ve rinsed it in cold water, obviously) as you are clearly quite busy.

When all is done stir the ingredients gently together and there’s your kedgeree. It should be quite salty and fairly dry. Like someone with a good wit.

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