CURRENT OVERALL SCORE – Lancaster 87 – 105 York
Currently playing: None
Coming up: None
FULL RESULTS AND FIXTURES LIST HERE
Well, the pool may still be going on, but the remaining games are pointless, so I reckon it is time to end today’s marathon commentary effort. Its been a pleasure writing at you, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and please join us again, bright and early tomorrow morning at 9am. According to our unofficial scores, York only need 19 points from Sunday’s play to secure a historic away victory. It’s compelling viewing. Goodnight and good luck.
22:49 Lancaster 87 – 105 York
This isn’t a final score, but Lancaster have taken an unassailable 6-1 lead in the Men’s Pool with two games to play, which means 2 more points for Lancaster.
Its 20 past 10 in the office and half of the remaining Nouse team are playing with the paper Roses that were sullying the general campus. Ok, yes, I’m one of them. Damn those zestful paper Roses. In pool news, someone is probably winning, but I have no real desire to find out who.
21:59 Lancaster 85 – 105 York
Yes, I have been gone a long time. I realise that you have missed me. The problem is there is only Pool left, and it seems to be one of the least eventful sports known to mankind. However, Lancaster have out-bored York to take the Women’s contest 5-4. To be fair, it sounds fairly exciting, Lancaster coming back from 3-4 down, but for some reason I can’t imagine screaming crowds and edge-of-your-seat action. Nevertheless, its 2 more points for Lancaster. Meanwhile, the Men’s game is plodding slowly along at 3-1 to Lancaster. According to some reports, it may continue for another hour. That pint is looking further and further away….
I feel that I should mention that, contrary to what I said earlier, Brother Shergold did NOT commit suicide in the Badminton halls, and is at this time writing up a match report on the Badminton. Please don’t let my slightly negative comments regarding the length of the contest prevent you from reading what will no doubt be a gripping report. Thank you.
21:36 Lancaster 83 – 105 York
The Badminton is over! I honestly didn’t think it would happen. Anyway, the men have redeemed the women. The final result was 6-3 to the White Rose, with the match over as a contest after York took a 5-1 lead in the second round. So the Badminton points are shared, with York taking 4 points
21:16 Lancaster 83 – 101 York
It seems the last Women’s news from the Badminton really was the last, as their victories in the second round gave Lancaster an unassailable lead, meaning that the hosts secure another 4 points. In the immortal words of Sir Alex Ferguson, its ’squeeze yer bum time’ for York.
The prize for those of you who have stayed with us this far is some Pool news. York’s women only need one more win to secure the points, leading the hosts 4-3. However, the men still have a lot of pool action ahead of them, with Lancaster holding an early 2-1 lead.
Sooooo. How is everyone doing? I got some good news today – we finally have wireless internet in our house in Badger Hill. Its only taken us 6 months. Seriously, no news from the Badminton, and the Pool will probably keep going until the early hours. Joy.
I’m desperately looking for any sort of interesting news to fill the interminable void (yeah – ‘interminable’ – you heard me!) left by a dearth of sporting action. Brother Foy has waved the white flag and abandoned the tedium of the pool for the slightly lesser tedium of the office, and Brother Shergold seems to have committed suicide in response to the Eternal Badminton Struggles. Oh, well – The Smiths are on. Life is good.
The second round of a seemingly endless Badminton competition for the Women is now over. Pair 2 have managed to turn it around to win 21-14, 21-17, but pairs 1 and 3 continue their poor run, going down 21-7, 21-9 and 21-13, 22-20 respectively. Can the men save the day again? Not to sound too chauvinist, but probably.
…and now its over. Its a 4-0 thrashing by Lancaster, who continue to chip away at York’s lead. 2 points for Lancaster
Right, it seems that York’s greatest achievement so far in the Men’s Canoe Polo is managing to capsize one of the Lancaster canoes. In case you were wondering, there are absolutely no points gained for such terrorist actions, however fun they may be. Unsurprisingly, Lancaster are dominating and are 4-0 up….
20:27 Lancaster 77 – 101 York
A bit of late news in from the Water Polo, with Lancaster defeating the White Rose 13-9. Unfortunatly, that means another 2 points for Lancaster.
Wow, my prayers were answered. York’s Badminton Men hit back with a clean sweep of their own in their doubles events. They weren’t quite as dominant as the Lancaster women, with pair 1 winning 21-18, 16-21, 21-14, pair 2 winning 10-21, 22-20, 21-10 and pair 3 winning 21-19, 21-16 (honestly, I couldn’t be bothered to think of different words for ‘winning’). This means that the scores are 3-3 going into the next round of matches.
Headline stuff – York have reached 100 points!. To be fair, this momentous occasion probably happened earlier, we are just a bit behind in a couple of results.
Ah, results! Sister Turner has displayed exceptional scampering skills to report that York’s women have triumphed 3-1 in the canoe polo. That’s a hefty 2 points for York. Men’s coming up next.
All quiet in the office, where some Damien Rice seems to have sent the denizens into a stupor. Still waiting for some Men’s Badminton results and the final score of a Water Polo match that finished a fair while ago. Elsewhere, Brother Foy seems to have mostly abandoned the pool in favour of the bar, and Sister Turner has been sent scampering off to the Canoe Polo. Exciting times indeed.
Some fairly dire scores from the Women’s Badminton, with a clean sweep of defeats for the pairs, Pair 1 went down 21-9, 21-8, pair 2 faired slightly better with 21-12, 21-17, while pair 3 even came close to stealing a set, losing 21-13, 21-20. Here’s hoping for some positive news from the guys.
Time for a quick shout out to Nad, who has helpfully informed me that our Latin motto would be “pietas quod species journalism”. Good effort, my friend, but I find it hard to believe the Latin for ‘journalism’ is ‘journalism’. hmmm…
In case anyone was wondering, Pub is not a Roses clash. There are in fact no sports coming up, so I thought I might as well admit I would be going straight for a pint when all this was over.
To save some confusion (and minor inconvenience for me later), I’m going to name all of the Badminton pairs now and just refer to them as Men’s or Women’s (insert pair number here). Ingenious, no? Anyway, Women’s 1 is Sarah Witts and Jess Grundy, 2 is Nicci Farr and Liz Mcfadzean and 3 is Lucy Wallington and Lauren Rutter. On the Men’s side, 1 is Johnty Hiley and Rob Walker, 2 is Will Wiseman and Paddy Clarke and 3 is Duy Hung and James Hor. Stay put for imminent scores
More news from the Pool. Still just as dull. The Women are 2-1 down, while the men are 2-1 up. Wow, even the symmetry is boring. More interesting news is that our Pool guru, Henry “Injah” Foy, claims to be hitting the Carlsberg because he “can’t afford the Stella”. Isn’t it Artois now anyway?
Yet more Badminton now. After the marathon effort yesterday, Noice is back watching people hit a strange shape over a high net……over and over. crazy. Anyway, York captain, Rob Walker claims “I’m confident as always, but we need to go out there and perform”. Stirring stuff. There seems to be some hesitation over their pink shirts, with Walker claiming to put up with them “for the banter”. Fair enough.
Some Pool rules coming up for you newbies out there. Nine games are played, so first to five, with each game the best of three. The first game is locked at 1-1, with a newly invigorated Foy describing it as “about as exciting as a Scientology convention”. Careful there, Mr Foy, watch out for that Fair Game policy. In the interests of balanced journalism – Praise be to Xenu.
Actually, mottos are always better in Latin. Any helpful Classics students out there?
Sian ‘Mother Theresa’ Turner has just returned from the Netball, claiming she “wanted to hug” Miss Kalpa-Johnson after her, fairly bloody, injury. Compassion and quality journalism – it should be the Nouse motto.
Bad news folks. Looks like the bold prediction of a clean sweep in the Netball was rampantly optimistic, as York 1sts have just gone down 29-45 in the final Netball fixture of a busy day. Apparently York goal defense Katy Kalpa-Johnson got elbowed in the face and kept playing. Now that’s hardcore. Shame she couldn’t score another 16 points by herself – now THAT would have been impressive. four points to Lancaster
Evening, folks. Matt ‘Farmer’ Jeynes here. As you might expect from someone who spends a large portion of his life conversing with sheep, I have very little idea what i’m doing. good times.
It’s time to hand over the torch to Brother Jeynes. Nobody knows what could happen next, least of all him. Good luck friends.
Half time in the men’s Water Polo, it’s 5-4 to Lancaster but it’s looking close. Hopefully not too close though, not sure how thick everyone’s shorts are.
18:55 Lancaster 71 – 99 York
York have triumphed in the fencing, Alistair Bullward getting the final points required for victory after competing in all three disciplines. Chris Morrif tells us “It’s been a perfect result for us after only getting two points last year. It’s good to see that the training has paid off”. Another four points to York
Third quarter in the Netball 1sts, York are coming back but it looks like a pretty tight match and an increasingly insurmountable task for York’s women. Lancaster lead 33-24.
It’s looking tight in the fencing – our man Chris Morrif is up against Lancaster’s ex GB talisman Aaron Gardner. York only need four points to win. Breaths are being held everywhere, and that’s not just because of the smell in the sports centre.
York’s fencing gents have won in the Sabre 45-31 and York only require seven points in the Epee to win as the current score is 90-52.
York 2nds fencing captain Conal Mcfadeyn has removed his fencing garments to reveal a sleeveless Harley Davidson vest laced with sweat. Screw the powerlifting girls, fencing is the place to be for all the man action you need. Fact.
More news from the fencing, which has to win the award for the longest event ever. You know, in ancient times – swordfights would last an average of three seconds. Not the case here. York are leading 75-47 overall after winning the foil by 24 points, but will look to rack up as many points as possible in the Sabre as Lancaster are strong in the Epee.
Half time at the Netball 1sts. Lancaster are winning 23 – 13, with the match being played at a pretty frantic pace. Looks like this one might be in the bag for Lancaster, hold on for more.
It appears that our esteemed correspondents have all gone to cover the pool tournament but instead have managed to sly away to enjoy the comforts of the bar. Unacceptable, even if it is Raf’s birthday.
End of the first quarter in the Netball 1sts, it’s close but Lancaster are leading 11-8 at the moment. Both teams look strong, but Lancaster just have the edge in possession.
18:15 Lancaster 71 – 95 York
Final result in the Water Polo for the Women, Lancaster dominated the play and won 11-1. Tactical splashing around in the pool wins Lancaster 2 points.
All is quiet on the western front at the moment. Today is looking like one of York’s strongest days on record so far, with several upsets in the outdoor events. Marenghi has got to be starting to worry about the ever present danger of being GUNGED. It’s like being in Vision, only less messy.
In other world news, Lt Col P. Duncan tells us that the Army have triumphed over the Navy in their annual Rugby confrontation. Congratulations to the Army, the Queen is proud.
Henry James Foy is en route to the Pool tournament as we speak, and let me tell you – he’s happy about covering it. Ish.
Just to clarify, this is Noice not Dan. Dan’s mum hasn’t made an appearance…yet.
Tension is building in the office as everyone is beginning to eye up the sofa, which provides infinitely more comfortable surroundings than the concrete floors. Perhaps the palettes that our Pancreatic friend has collected would be more comfortable to sleep on. Answers on a postcard.
17:48 Lancaster 69 – 95 York
Neither side could break the deadlock and the points have been shared between the sides in the Rugby 1sts. Two points for both teams
17:45 Lancaster 67 – 93 York
Netball 2nds results in: York have been overcome in the second half, Lancaster winning that one 43-37. Two points to Lancaster.
News in the Rugby from our man in the field Albi the Racist Dragon. Lancaster have pulled level to balance the game at 10-10. Severe banter from the Yorkshiremen suficiently put off the Lancaster kicker, who was unable to convert.
17:38 Lancaster 65 – 93 York
Confirmed result in the Sailing: York have definitely won. That’s six points to York. Brrrup.
17:36 Lancaster 65 – 87 York
Volleyball result just in: Lancaster have won it so they get four points for what I thought was just a scene in Top Gun. Apparently it’s a proper sport now. At least it’s not Ultimate Volleyball.
May be losing my mind here, but I can hear rain. I’m told it’s not raining though. Perhaps this bunkeresque office is taking it’s toll and the plants have started talking to me. If I see a child on a red bike riding through the corridoors, I’ll start to worry.
Matthew Jeynes has become a star on the rugby pitch. The ball was kicked into touch and Mr Lamb Chops caught the ball with his safe cow-tipping arms. Three cheers for agriculture.
Tennis news, Dan Schofield has lost his fifth seeded match 6-3, 2-6, 7-5. Don’t panic though, this result is purely arbitrary as York have already won overall.
Just remembered I have Pringles in the car. There might not be any coverage for a while…
Sanchez has been shmoozing again, Jo Carter this time. Apparently Tom Moore isn’t taking the banter too well, but I’m sure an away victory will soften the blow. Carter thinks we’re about 25 points in front. Close Jo, but you should be reading Nouse Live Coverage for the real scores.
Just a note for anyone looking for a good time, Peter Campbell now has shiny new business cards – for his pleasure and hers.
York have taken the lead in the Rugby, James Wilson made a fantastic interception within his own 22 and ran the length of the pitch to touch down. Rob Grant converted in front of the posts to take the score to 10 – 5 to York with minutes to play.
Womens Netball 2nds is at half time right now, York have turned it around and are 21-20 ahead. Just to note, Abi Weighill has been named (Wo)man of the match for the thirds.
Charlotte Kerry from the Womens Fencing team tells us “It was a bit too close for comfort, we should have done a lot better”. Sanchez tells us that she was the star player though, must be the outfit.
17:04 Lancaster 61 – 87 York
York’s Women overall and the Men’s 2nds have won in fencing. That’s another tidy six points on the board for the White Rose.
Rugby news, York have had a try disallowed for excessive banter. Not really, there was an apparent offside but it’s being disputed. This one’s going to go to the wire – still 5-3 Lancaster.
17:00 Lancaster 61 – 81 York
Final Score in the Football 3rds, Lancaster have won 3-0 – we’re told that the third goal in that one was a screamer. I didn’t hear it so I can’t confirm.
Ahoy Mateys – unconfirmed news in the Sailing, but it looks like York have braced their mainstays and rigged their anchors right today and have ridden the crest of the wave of victory… or something. Alumni didn’t play, but that’s expected because they probably have jobs and families.
16:54 Lancaster 60 – 81 York
More victory for York, Peter Thomson Glover has won his match 6-2, 6-4. Third seed Cameron Downey won 6-1, 7-5 and fourth seed Steve Durran has come out on top 6-3, 6-3. First, fifth and sixth seeds are still playing but we’re being told that it’s impossible now for Lancaster to win overall. That’s another four points for York
I’ll be running an Agony Uncle column throughout the day so if you have any troubles, just post them on the website for the world to see and I’ll do my best to help… or laugh.
Half time at the Men’s Rugby 1sts. Lancaster are only just holding off York on their own try line – the score is still 5-3 and the banter is still strong.
Cameron Diaz, deal or no deal?
It’s getting tense in the fence…ing. York’s women are now up 30-24 in the Epee, this one is worth 4 points so as soon as we hit the 45 point mark it’ll be good times all round.
Netball 2nds news at the end of the first quarter – Lancaster are up 13-10. GS Fran Ireland got 7 points while GA Sophia Sahin took 3. Lancaster had an early lead but York are coming back.
Women’s Fencing: 20-9 up in the Epee. The winner of this one wins the women’s game overall – so stay tuned.
Rugby news from the field, MJ has had his legs lifted – and not for the first time I hear. The resultant penalty brings York back to within two points, 5-3 the current score.
6-3 in the Netball 2nds. It should be harder to score in netball. Maybe use a heavier ball, or a higher net. Or have everyone wear an eyepatch to screw with their depth perception.
Sanchez has been shmoozing with the James Marenghi, who looks apprehensive ahead of the possible gunking he would receive should Lancaster be unable to turn around the deficit.
The phrase “famous last words” comes into mind at the moment, Lancaster have taken the lead in the women’s Netball – currently winning 5-3, Goal shooter Fran Ireland is said to be having a great game and York have regained their momentum.
Rugby News: Lancaster have taken the lead in the match, running the ball into the corner but failed to convert. York have suffered a casualty and have lost their scrum half to injury.
News coming in from the Netball 2nds match that has just gotten underway – Club President Claire Shaw tells us “We’ve got the best ever shot of a clean sweep this year that we’ve ever had across the board. We’re very optimistic”. Also, in the fencing it looks like York have built up an insurmountable lead in the 2nds match – I still maintain that the pen is mightier than the sword though.
16:25 – Lancaster 59 – 75 York
Canoeing news – York and Lancaster share the honours in the canoe slalom event – that’s two points each
Reports are coming in from the Rugby pitch that there are massive amounts of banter, but no score as of yet. York are pressing hard and kicking well, but are yet to be rewarded.
Lancaster are still 2-0 up in the football – it looks like there is no way back for a York side that are shaky in defence. Too much Red Bull?
York Captain in the fencing has beaten the Lancaster captain, taking the score in the Sabre 40-31. This takes the overall score to 84-48, which looks like a clear win for York. Bring in the points bitches.
Quotes a friggin’ clock from the Netball – Thirds captain Abigail Weighill tells us that “It was amazing, everyone played really well. We got tired in the fourth quarter but it’s unbelievably hot out here so the win means a lot to us”.
16:04 – Lancaster 57 – 73 York
The Men’s Rugby 1sts has just kicked off. Hopefully they’ll keep their shorts on for the duration. In other news, York has just won the thirds Netball 27-19, which increases York’s lead to 16 points.
Strange but true news from the Rugby Pitch – Lancaster decided that water bombs were their weapon of choice for the pre-game banter so York responded with endless wit in the form of a team mooning.
15:48 – Lancaster 57 – 72 York
We have a result on the Women’s Rugby 1sts. After pressing throughout, York got their reward with a late try and finished 10-0 up. That’s right… four points kids.
Brother Sanchez has just told us that the fine women of York have just taken the lead, with the score currently at 56-54. Word on the street is that York are in with a much better chance this year after a dismal defeat 12 months ago. They’re much sharper now.
York are still looking comfortable in the Netball 3rds, 21-11 up. Lancaster are trying but at the moment their efforts are fairly fruitless.
Lancaster have stolen another one in the Football to lead 2-0. Apparently the goal was against the run of play and York are looking good. Shame about the scoreline though.
In the Women’s Rugby, York are looking dominant but are being held on the line as we speak. Still 3-0 but it looks like a score is coming soon.
Men’s Hockey: Her Majesty’s Red Cross have been called into action after a goalkeeper was caught by a flying ball. Shouldn’t that be the other way round?
Fencing and netball news, in that order. The men’s seconds have won the foil 44 – 17 and are quietly confident. The ladies are pretty close in their contest, currently battling 48-46 in front, but winning overall 8-3. Netball news – York are 16-10 up and looking comfortable, Lancaster can’t seem to shake the tension.
Women’s Rugby news: York are holding on to 70% of the possession, the scrums are scrappy and Jeynes has probably moved on from Scrumpy to Special Brew. He’s just that kind of guy.
Netball news at half time, York are 14-8 ahead. This one looks like one to watch, both teams are playing well and looking strong. The umpire has had a cheeky chat with Anjli and told her on the sly that “York were more effective and consistent with their passing while Lancaster were struggling with interceptions. Big crowd is apparently there, so why aren’t you? You’re getting coverage by the minute, that’s why.
15:25 – Lancaster 57 – 68 York
Early news is coming in that York have won in the snooker, which means four more points for the White Rose .
Men’s Football Thirds: Lancaster have scored from a penalty after twenty minutes, giving them the early lead. It’s not early like “Sorry that’s never happened to me before” early but more “the party has only just started” early.
Netball thirds news: York are running rampant out there, currently leading 9-5. No, wait… 9-6. Who ever said this wasn’t live.
It’s coming in thick and fast now, Emma Hodson in the Rugby game has had another attempt from a penalty but came just shy by hitting the upright. In other news, Lancaster have won the Sabre section in the fencing 45-38. The foil and the epee are still to come. Stay tuned.
Men’s Fencing news friends, York are in a commanding position – up 35-9. The first to 45 in this game gives them a victory, so it’s looking good. Team captain James Quelts has said that “they are feeling pretty confident, but the sports centre smells a little funky.” Wise words.
York have made a breakthrough in the Women’s Rugby, Emma Hodson kicking to the posts to put the away side up 3-0.
Just a reminder to all that this years’ Roses coverage is sponsored by Steve’s Self Hunting Steak Store – You Kill It, They Grill It
Men’s Doubles Tennis: It’s a mixed bag for York in the tennis – the first seeds have lost their first set 7-4, the second pair are 5-5 as we speak and in the third seeding York are leading 4-1. Smashing stuff
Womens Rugby: York very nearly through with a try but Lancaster just managed to stop the score with a dubious high tackle. More to follow.
Greetings all, El Noicio here with all of your current updates. We’re looking for farmer Jeynes as we speak to see if he can get down to the football match. Rumours are circulating that he’s away cow tipping.
The second half of the Women’s Rugby match has just gotten underway. Unfortunately there is still nothing to report as both defenses are being dogged. No women jokes, please.
Womens Tennis: York’s third seed has won her match 6-4, 6-2 and the fifth seed has emerged victorious after a tough first set finishing 7-6. York win overall 11-4.
14:36 – Lancaster 57 – 64 York
Final scores are in from the aforementioned Ballroom Dancing where York has won 2.5 points and Lancaster has taken 1.5 and York won two events, lost a third and drew the final.
The battle is at the half-way line in the Women’s 1sts where Lancaster have managed to dislodge York from their half. York have most of the ball possession but are still unable to make it past Lancaster’s stalwart defense. The score remains a fairly uninteresting 0 – 0. Our sidelines correspondent Matt Jeynes is getting a bit agitated at the lack of scoring but is still grateful to be away from the Ballroom dancing, which AU Exec Member Naomi Dodds has described as “so tasteless it’s like being at Butlins”.
14:36 – Lancaster 55.5 – 61.5 York
We’re getting our first results from the Trampolining now where York has lost narrowly. Lancaster scored 145.8 to York’s 142.1. Captain Hannah Cooper scored an impressive 49.6, while Jonathan Ward took 47.2 and Zoe Pain 45.3 but they fell just short of Lancaster’s total and the hosts win the 4 points, which they’ll need if they’re to have any hope of catching York by the end of the day.
And to put a final nail in the coffin of whatever hope Lancaster had in the tennis Charlotte Taylor has just won 6-4, 6-4. There’s two matches to go but York has already won the 4 points.
After a good run from York’s outside centre Emma Cooper ends in a heavy tackle just yards from the try line. There’s a growing sense on the side lines that it’s only a matter of time before York breaks through.
Still 5 – 2 in the Hockey. Lancaster are pushing forward but it smacks of desperation.
Back to the Women’s Rugby 1sts where York No.8 Asare was held up over the line. Lancaster won the scrum and cleared it but York is still lurking dangerously in their half and the score line reads 0 – 0.
The Mixed Hockey 1sts now lead 5 – 2 after a goal from Ed Watson, one of the star’s of yesterday’s Indoor match. York is 5 minutes away from victory and the 2 points that go with it.
In the Women’s Rugby York are camped out on Lancaster’s 5 yard line and turning the screws ever tighter. A try could be in the making, watch this space.
14:16 Lancaster 51.5 – 61.5 York
Cockbill has won her singles 6-1, 6-0 while Charlotte Gray lost 6-0, 6-0. This means the York Women’s 1sts have won 5 out of their 9 matches and secured a further 4 points meaning York currently leads by a commanding 10 points overall
The Rugby Women’s 1sts has begun and it’s scrappy, folks. York is missing Ruth Laybourne, our star centre, and as yet seem to unable to find much cohesion or tempo.
The news is still good from the tennis courts, where York have dominated all weekend so far. In the Women’s Singles Maxine Cahal has won her match 6-2, 6-0.
It’s still 4 – 2 to York in the Mixed Hockey 1sts, coming into the second half. It’s turned into one of the biggest spectator events so far this weekend, although the Rugby 1sts is likely to draw big crowds when it starts in a few minutes time.
Henry James Foy is leaving the office for the first time in 48 hours. If you seem him walking around don’t speak too loudly or sneeze near him, his immune system is pretty weak from lack of natural light.
13:56 – Lancaster 51.5 – York 55.5
In a filthy, physical game in which Tom Wells lost a tooth after being shoved into a wall with 10 seconds left to play York have dragged 2 points out of the Men’s 1sts Indoor football stretching our lead to a commanding 57.5 to Lancaster’s 51.5.
York stay on form in the tennis, where Cockbill has just won her first set 6 – 1.
To all of you drinking, streaking and generally being debaucherous a quick warning: Pro-Vice-Chancellor for Students Jane Grenville is coming up tomorrow with a handful of other top brass. Best behaviour, kids.
It’s half time now in the Hockey where the score remains at 3 – 2. Most of Lancaster’s attacks have come up the wing and have York have been forced into ever more inventive passing. York keeper Gibault is the best player on the pitch without a doubt, while Carter has played only a few minutes. YUSU President Anne-Marie Canning is hurling obscenities and cans of beer at Lancaster. Probably.
Men’s Indoor Football 1sts now and it’s 1 – 0 to York where Jonathan MacWilliams has capitalised on an early penalty.
Seb Hirst, the man of the hour, says “every single moment of the game was nerve wracking and I’m glad it’s over and that we won”. It’s showers for the Rugby boys and a four point lead for York.
13:42 – Lancaster 51.5 – 55.5 York
Star correspondent Albi “Better than Sex” Furlan has confirmed a York victory of 14 – 12 in the Men’s 2nds Rugby. All York points were scored by Seb Hirst and the first major grudge match goes to York,along with 2 points.
While we looked away it became 3 – 2 in the Hockey where a long Lancaster run ended in a goal a few minutes before half time.
First results in from the Snooker where York won the first game of five 2 frames to none. The second game is poised at 1 – 1. First to three games wins and takes 4 points.
Will Gibault, the York goalie in the Mixed Hockey 1sts has made series of what can only be described as “cat-like” saves to preserve York’s lead.
Adleman has scored an second goal from a short corner, nearly identical to his first bring York to 3 – 1 lead just before half time. I don’t want to get your hopes up sports fans, but it looks like Jo Carter may be on a team that wins.
Back to the Women’s Tennis where everyone is still in the first set of their singles matches. Cockbill is too strong for her opponent – returning everything sent her way.
Under heavy pressure from the York forwards Lancaster committed another penalty on their 22, complained about it, saw it moved forward 10 yards as a result and Hirst converted it to make it 14 – 12 York. Stop whining Lancaster, it’s getting you nowhere.
It’s 2 – 1 in the Mixed 1sts Hockey with Lancaster scoring from a penalty corner. C’mon Carter! Canning is apparently having a moan about how much better their facilities are than ours.
13:25 – Lancaster 51.5 – 53.5 York
It’s full time in the Women’s 1sts Indoor football where Lancaster has won 4 – 1 and taken two Roses points with it.
There won’t be any results until 3 for the Ballroom Dancing but they’ve brought in an enigmatic judge who’s not giving anything away. The heat is stifling in the hall and everyone, especially Jeynes, is sweating.
YUSU President Anne-Marie Canning, who is watching her Sabb colleague Jo Carter in the Mixed Hockey is very excited to be here. “I think it’s going really well, and am really impressed that we pulled 16 points back yesterday. Lancaster have never done that before and I have high hopes that we can take home the cup.” Apparently, Matt Burton is coming to Lancaster today – two steps ahead of the mob of angry Vanbrugh students demanding sofas for the JCRC.
Flood of results coming in from the Women’s 1sts Tennis. Lauren Cockbill and Charlotte Taylor have 8 – 1 against the first seeds of Lancaster. Carolie Brown and Charlotte Gregory won in a nail-bitingly close encounter, finally triumphing 9 – 8 after a tie break. Finally, Victoria Walvis and Maxine Cahal have also won though with a slightly starker 8 – 0 score line. They are now playing singles in that seeding order and two wins will be enough to clinch the 4 Roses points that come with it.
Less excitingly, it’s 0 – 0 in the Women’s 1sts Indoor Football. It’s a defensive game with both sides hanging at their ends like embarrassed year 7’s at a school disco.
York and Jo Carter are 2 – 0 up in the mixed 1sts hockey where Rich Adleman and Ally Morgan have scored the goals. Whoop whoop!
….except that Lancaster have just scored a penalty to make it 12 – 11. Still, the crowd apparently went wild after the York try with someone (possibly or possibly not our own Alberto Furlan) screaming: “This is better than sex!” Keep your pants on, Albi.
It’s good news from the Men’s 2nds Rugby where the current score is now York 11 and Lancaster 9. Winger and kicker Hirst scored a try in the left corner after flowing moves three times backwards and forwards across the pitch. He missed the conversion but we’ll let him off.
For those of you familiar with our sturdy and side-burned Matt Jeynes, you may be amused to know that we’ve dispatched to cover the Ballroom Dancing. He didn’t look happy.
13:04 – Lancaster 48.5 – 53.5 York
York has lost in the Mixed 2nds Hockey by 2 goals to 0. Captain Sam Simms said: “It was a good game but tough. Lancaster take the point bringing them to 49.5 to our 53.5 . Coach Carter is playing midfield in the upcoming Mixed 1sts and, supported a whooping Anne-Marie Canning on the sidelines, will hopefully be able to stem the continuing hockey losses.
9 – 6 to Lancaster in the Rugby after a silly decision by the ref awarded Lancaster a penalty for a perceived low tackle our flanker. It’s getting all a bit tetchy.
12:59 – Lancaster 48.5 – 53.5 York
Men’s 2nd Indoor Football and it’s 4 – 0 to York at full time. Swann scores off of 2 penalties while the inimitable Remi Remington slotted in a further one to clinch the point for York and bring the overall score to 48.5 to 53.5
It’s sandwich time in the office. Not quite a substitute for air and sun but at least it reminds us that there’s a world alive out there. If there’s a nuclear apocalypse, it’s us and the cockroaches.
Back to the Rugby and straight after the kickoff beginning the second half Lancaster attacked down the right, the winger unloaded to the fullback who dropped it as he crossed the line. Scrum on the 5 metre line to York.
York continue to surge forward in the Mixed Hockey 2nds but have been unable to get around Lancaster’s nimble goalie, and the score remains at 2 – 0.
Moving to slightly more refined diversions York “looked quite professional” in the Ballroom dancing, says a slightly bored-sounding Naomi Dodds. No scores as yet.
It’s now 6 – 6 in the Men’s 2nds Rugby at half time. York’s flagging discipline meant a conceded penalty in our own 22 which Lancaster capitalised on. York launched a flying move on the right which the Lancaster side stopped by killing the ball. Hirst slotted his second penalty, meaning 2 out of 4 for him today and a current score of 6 – 6.
It’s still 1 – 0 to Lancaster at half time in the Men’s 2nds Indoor football. A Lancaster player has been sin-binned for elbowing a Yorkie in the face while the home supporters are allegedly trying to spit on the York substitutes. Poor show all around.
We’re getting a final update on the Men’s 2nd Tennis where Captain Pinching has won has won his second and final set, meaning he takes the match 4-6, 6-2, 6-2. It’s a clean sweep for the 2nds who won all their matches. ‘The Pinch’ reports: “It was an epic game to finish a stunning day for York”.
Sanchez in and on it. In the Men’s 2nd Indoor football York are leading 1 – 0 in the first half. The goal scorer is own Dan Cox
I’m off for fresh air and food. Sanchez tagging in…
Lancaster’s goalkeeper is still defying York’s best attempts in the 2nd Mixed Hockey game, and another Lancaster goal puts them 2-0 ahead. Looking like a tough task for York here to steal the 1 point on offer.
Lancaster have been camped in York’s half in the Mens 2nds Rugby, and won a penalty after the York Number 8 strayed offside. The Lancaster kicker slots over the penalty and it’s 3-3.
Finally, Pinching has finished off his opponent 6-2 in the final set to complete a nine-game whitewash for the Mens 2nd Tennis team. “It was an epic game and an awesome day for the team,” he said. Damn straight my boy.
Lacrosse Guru Matt Jeynes has just returned to the office, informing Sanchez and I that it is apparently sunny outside, “with a bit of a stiff breeze.” I think that my eyes wouldn’t be able to cope with direct sunlight right now.
12:32 – Lancaster 48.5 – 52.5 York
The Mens 3rd Indoor Football has ended with a 3-3 draw, which I think means that the 1 point will be shared between Lancaster and York.
Still 1-0 to Lancaster in the Mixed 2nds Hockey match, but York are peppering the Lancaster goal every minute. The last shot was so hard it caused a part of the goalkeeper’s kit to break off. They are certainly going for it.
Three goals from Tristan Holdsworth in the Mens 3rds Indoor Football leaves the score at 3-3, with only a few minutes to go. A solitary point is riding on this one.
Following the sin-binning of Lancaster inside centre for a late tackle, Hirst slots over the penalty to give York a 3-0 lead in the Mens 2nd Rugby match.
Lancaster win the overall Judo with 40 points to 20, but York player Adam Green was singled out by the judge for “an exceptional performance”. Thankfully though, whoever decides which sports get what points has ruled that Judo is worth a big fat zero on the overall tally. Well done that man.
Three sliced kicks from a struggling Lancaster team means that there is still no score in the Rugby 2nds, but York are in the ascendancy, and piling on the pressure.
Still 1-0 to Lancaster in the Mixed Hockey 2nds, thanks to the skill of the home goalkeeper. Coming up at 13.00 after this game is the Mixed 1sts, where Jo Carter will be lining up in midfield in the gold of York. So that’s what all the Red Bull was for.
Today’s game saw the highest ever score for a York Men’s Lacrosse match, according to their captain. “It’s the best our boys have ever played,” he added. It’s the strangest collection of names, too.
York kicker Seb Hurst misses the first opportunity to put points on the board in the Mens 2nd Rugby, missing a penalty from the halfway line. Our correspondent reports that his distance was fine, but pulled it a little. No score as yet.
After losing his first set 6-4, Pinching has rallied to win the second 6-2 in the 2nd seed match of the 2nds Mens Tennis. If he can take the third set, it’ll be a complete 9 game whitewash for the York lads.
12:03 – Lancaster 48 – 52 York
The Womens 2nds Indoor Football goes to Lancaster, who who 4-0 with little resistance from York. A point for Lancaster reduces York’s lead to 4 points.
Rugby correspondent Alberto Furlan reports that the Lancaster players have just emerged from the dressing room for the start of the Mens 2nd game. Tension mounting.
Rugby correspondent Alberto Furlan reports that the Lancaster players have just emerged from the dressing room for the start of the Mens 2nd game. Tension mounting.
Heading for a whitewash in the tennis as 4th seed Maclin wins his tie comprehensively 6-0 6-1. Just Pinching left on the courts for York – but playing only for pride. Eight-nil to York.
A goal for Lancaster in the Mixed 2nds Hockey after some poor goalkeeping from York. One-nil there.
11:57 – Lancaster 47 – 52 York
Victory for York in the Lacrosse, meaning 4 big big points for the White Roses. The game ended 16-2, avenging the Women’s Hockey, and it means York are the first team to break that completely-arbitrary 50-point mark. Still, good news for Carter and Co.
A chap called Vince – who I imagine is pretty solid – is the star at the Power lifting for Lancaster. Too bad that there are no points on offer. Shame.
In the Women’s 2nds Indoor Football, it’s 2-0 to Lancaster at half time. York are lacking cohesion and are being outclassed, with only the ‘keeper stopping a drubbing. Still – York have taken the overall lead, and the Lacrosse result is still pending!
11:52 – Lancaster 47 – 48 York
I’m back. Pinching has recovered his form somewhat in his second set, and there are more victories for York in the singles – 3rd seed Buckley has won 6-0 6-4, 5th seed Gregory has won 6-1 6-2, and 6th seed Lee has won 6-3 6-2. With Pinching still to finish, that’s 7 out of 9 wins for York, so two points for the Mens 2nds are heading to York.
Nipping out of the bunker to go to the toilet – though no fresh air, mind. Hold on…
The Men’s 2nds Rugby match is due to start any minute. York old boys Joe Peach and Jason Tabb are on the sidelines.
Lacrosse update – Ramsbottom has redeemed himself with another goal, joined on the scoresheet by Ed Jones to make it 15-2 to York with 5 minutes to go. This is the same goal difference as the hockey yesterday – so Ramsbottom needs one more to outdo office favourite Ilka Kreiger.
The 2nds Mixed Hockey match is about to start imminently, as is the Womens 2nds Indoor Football. Fingers crossed the Hocket is anything like the 3rds game – albeit with a different result.
11:38 – Lancaster 47 – 46 York
The cobbled-together 4th Indoor Football team have put in a unlikely performance to secure their match 4-3, meaning a point for York. The referee, however, seemed to be oblivious to certain rules, and at one point got into a full-blown argument with the Lancaster supporters. Still, a point is a point.
Pinching has dropped the first set of his 2nd seed singles match in the Mens 2nd Doubles event, and is visibly frustrated, throwing his racquet on the ground.
Clare Kirky, goalkeeper for the defeated 3rd Mixed Hockey team, says “We’re really disappointed with the result. It was a dirty game with dodgy refereeing.” Chin-up Clare, it was a good effort.
Another success for York in the Mens 2nds Tennis. Madman Nutter has dispatched Lancaster’s best offering 6-4 6-4 to make it two wins out of two for him, and 4 wins out of 4 for York. One more win and the 2 points are safe.
Down at the Power lifting, Noicey reckons that York are lifting an average of 80kgs, while the Lancaster guys are looking at more like 150kgs. Now I’m no Power lifter, but I’m guessing that is pretty bad for York.
Anjli Raval has caught up with Lancaster AU President James Marenghi down at the Tennis. “It’s really exciting, especially for people watching. It’s tiring, but I think it’s going ok. My highlight was playing in the darts yesterday.” Our very own Jo Carter, however, says – following the Hockey defeat: “Made her even more confident for the other mixed teams and it’s very promising for the Mens and Womens.” Both must be fearing that gunking.
11:23 – Lancaster 47 – 45 York
Full time in the Mixed Hockey, and an incredibly thrilling game ends 5-4. Both teams held the lead during a frantic 70 minutes. What that means is one point for Lancaster in the overall standings. Thank god for Lacrosse.
Bit of controversial audience participation in the Mixed Hockey. A long ball that looked certain to go off the sidelines is kicked back into play ‘golfing-out-of-bounds-style’, and the referee waves for play to continue. Bizarre decision from an increasingly erratic Ref. Two minutes left to play.
Nutter has taken the first set of his 1st seed singles game in the Mens 2nd Tennis, but is trailing 2-1 in the second. In the fourth seed game, Maclin is 2-1 up against Blackburn of Lancaster.
The York Lacrosse team is more than making up for the Womens Hockey yesterday, leading 12-1 in the 3rd quarter down on the fields. Goals from Whittingham, Newnam and that van-der wotsit chappie. Carter, tanked up on Red Bull, must be smiling down on the touchline.
Ten minutes to go in the Mixed Hockey, with York trailing 4-5. Lots of desperate and scrappy play, and Lancaster are a man down after a sin-binning.
Nutter and Halliday are still in their first set, with the York player leading 5-4. The other Mens 2nds Single seeded match-ups are (York first) Pinching v Greg Randall, Buckley v Jeremy Cain, Maclin v Chris Blackburn, Gregory v Tom Ramshaw, Lee v Mark Pentelow. My by reckoning, if we win 2 of those, we’ll have 5 wins (including the 3 doubles matches) out of a possible 9, and will have secured the 2 points. That makes sense, right?
The warm-up continues down at the Power lifting, but Criss Noice reckons that if it’s anything to go by, there should be a healthy dose of involuntary sex noises when the real action gets going.
Farcical scenes down at the Indoor Football. While the Lancaster team look efficient and well kitted-out, York are struggling to muster enough players to start the match. It’s a bit of a Dad’s Army scene down there, but it’s only the 4ths I guess – and it’s only 1 point.
Lancaster have scored in the Lacrosse to make it 8-1 to York. A bit of complacency at the back, apparently. On a team of silly names, Captain Boaz Luke Eli Eli called a time-out to label hat-trick hero Dick Ramsbottom “an absolute twat”.
First seeds underway in the Mens Singles Tennis. Nutter is leading 3-2 in the first set of three against Halliday. Just to fill you in, the winners of the singles and doubles combined will take the 2 points available for the Mens 2nds Tennis.
Things are heating up over at the delayed Powerlifting, but the Lancaster team look at least twice the size – and age – of York’s. Let’s hope it’s all in the mind.
Sam Dart causing more drama on the astroturf. A pretty innocuous body check from him leads to a penalty to Lancaster, which they convert to make it 5-4. Not long left there.
An unforced error from the Lancaster player seals the 2nd seed Mens Doubles game – Pinching and Buckley take the spoils 8-4. An unfazed Captain Pinching says: “We played really well, hopefully the singles will be nice and easy and we will win them as well.”
Pinching and Buckley are at 7-4, with Buckley serving for the match right now. Three wins in the doubles will take the pressure right off for the singles.
Exhibition stuff in the Lacrosse, with Ramsbottom getting a brace to make it 8-0. “They’re just taking the piss,” reports Jeynes. Those four points are looking safe as houses.
Will Fresson has scored off a short corner to make it 4-4 in the hockey. A classic Roses match here.
Another win for York in the Mens Doubles – Gregory and Lee have taken their match by 8 games to 4. If Pinching and Buckley win it’ll be 3 out of 3 for York. Then the singles will decide where the overall points go for the Men.
Just to recap the Lacrosse – York’s sixth was scored by that van-der Byl Knoesel lad. I bet that isn’t fitting on his shirt. But, more importantly – is he the new Ilka?
Having seen off the best of Lancaster’s Mens Doubles, Jamie Nutter is now taking on Lancaster’s star singles player Kai Halliday. Can he make it two out of two?
Pinching and Buckley are 4-3 up in their Mens Doubles match, and it’s now 6-0 in the Lacrosse. Lancaster’s team have just had a tray of Red Bull delivered – they’ll be needing all the wings that they can get.
Big drama in the Mixed Hockey. It’s getting pretty messy over there. Sam “Killer” Dart has been sin binned for a sliding-tackle (football fan style) which completely wiped out a Lancaster player. A York player then stopped a goal-bound shot with his hand, and Lancaster moved 4-3 up with the resulting penalty.
Half time in the Lacrosse, and it’s 5-0. Matt “Byron” Jeynes says that the Lancaster goalie is the only player “stopping it becoming a cricket score”. That’s his English degree coming out right there.
Nutter and Maclin have taken the first set of their 1st seed Men’s Doubles Event 8-2. For all you Tennis boffins out there screaming at your screen for my technical incompetence, apparently the Lancaster AU decided to make it ‘first to 8, because it’s doubles’. Right. Because that makes as much sense as giving each JCRC only £1 per fresher.
Judo is coming up in 30 minutes, but it’s not worth any points. Still, with disciplines such as the Men’s Over 90kg on display, it’s not one to miss. Quick shout-out to Vanbrugh rebel Chair Matt Oliver who is wreaking havoc all over the campus political circles, and getting YUSU a little hot under the collar. Free the Vanbrugh One!
Lancaster’s number 9 has got a goal in the Mixed Hockey after some sloppy play by the York defenders. Three-all now, and this is quickly becoming a cracking game.
Five-nil in the Lacrosse – short-boy Jones grabbing another. AU President Jo Carter is in attendance, guzzling Red Bull. I wonder if she is over the 13-0 drubbing her Indoor Hockey team received yesterday afternoon?
York have another in the Hockey – Will Frisson has made it 3-2, and it’s not even half time yet. In the Tennis, Nutter and Macklin are 4-2 up in their first set. We have learnt that Captain Richard Pinching is universally referred to as “The Pinch”, which sounds like something you might catch from a dirty fresher in Ziggy’s.
Back on level terms down at the Astroturf – York have got an equaliser to make it 2-2. However, Jamie Evans will need stitches for a split lip sustained during the second Lancaster goal. He’s a crucial player in the Mens 2nds tomorrow, so fingers crossed he gets patched up nice and quickly.
End of the first quarter in the Lacrosse, and it’s still 4-0. Bad news in the Mixed Hockey though; Lancaster’s Captain has scored to put the hosts 2-1 up. Perhaps he’s stopped arguing and started playing.
York are running away with the Lacrosse, it’s 4-0 now after goals from Jack Wakefield, Josh Whittingham and Edward Jones – who is the chap in the multi-coloured shorts. Jeynes says that Lancaster are “a bit slow, haven’t hat a shot on target and don’t seem to know the rules.” Four points in the bag?
Lancaster equalise with a nice lob in the Mixed Hockey. One apiece now then.
First goal goes to York in the Mixed 3rds Hockey match. Vanbrugh College captain Joe “Goat” Spedding has opened the scoring after a great counter-attack. Lancaster, however, are pushing hard for an equaliser, but have had one ruled out for foul play. Lots of handbags from the Lancastrians on the field – and their captain is having words with the referee. Toys and prams spring to mind.
York’s teams for the Mens 2nds Tennis: 1st seeds Jamie Nutter and Craig Maclin, 2nd seeds Captain Richard Pinching and Tristen Buckley, and 3rd seeds Ed Gregory and Rupert Lee. Two points up for grabs here folks.
The warm-up is over down on the courts, and the Tennis is about to kick off, or serve off, or simply just begin. I swear, this sports writing malarkey is a lot more complicated than good old news. All these sodding terms…
Mixed Hockey now – 5 boys and 5 girls plus a keeper. Lancaster are keeping the play in the York half, but the defence is holding firm. The Lancaster forwards aren’t doing themselves any favours though, and have been warned numerous times by the referee for foul play in the York penalty area.
Ramsbottom is leading from the front to back up his prediction, opening the scoring in the Lacrosse to make it 1-0 despite some early Lancaster pressure. Edmunton van-der Byl Knoesel is playing for York, which is a name that almost compares to Ilka Kreiger from yesterday’s Indoor Hockey and Ross Champion who lined up for the defeated York Ultimate Frisbee team. Name of the weekend competition anyone? Could Ramsbottom be in with a chance?
Request from Mr Dan Taylor to get some photos up on the blog. We’ll try to get some up from today’s events as they come in, but in the interim, we’ll post some up from yesterday. We’re on the case.
Richard Ramsbottom, Men’s Lacrosse player is feeling uber-confident this morning: “I think that we are going to win easily.” The team is looking pretty fit in their new kit, except for the poor sod who left his at home and is prancing around in a multi-colored outfit, according to Matt Jeynes, who is probably tucking into his first can of Scrumpy about now.
Perhaps the last sentence should have read ‘man’. Discuss. So the postponement of Power lifting has somewhat shafted my attempts to bring you live sporting action, so inane observations of the office will have to suffice. Or, if this is unappealing to you, dear reader, why don’t you check out this story about JCRC funding, which is causing a little bit of comment action this morning. Everyone loves a good cyber-argument.
Happy Birthday to Nouse supremo Raf Sanchez, who turned twenty this morning. Pity he awoke on a sofa (his birthday present from the rest of the team) to find that it wasn’t just a nightmare – he was sleeping in an unventilated box in the Lancaster University Student Union, in a country where the capital city is being run by Boris. You’ve got to feel for the boy.
Our Power lifting correspondents have returned to the SCAN cave with news that the event has been preposteroned until 11:00. Instead, they will simply add to the rapidly growing amount of debris that is piling up around the office. Sports Editor Criss Noice is sporting a fine pair of slack chino shorts and a dashing black shirt today. He’s either out to shoot some Elephant, or just to make a subtle elitist comment across campus. Hold that media pass aloft Noicey.
Tennis at 10:00 – 10 points available here from the Mens 2nds and Mens and Womens 1sts events. After Cameron Downey and Charlotte Taylor’s heroic comeback to secure 2 points for the Mixed teams yesterday under huge pressure from the home fans, can York steal more points from the courts?
Rugby at 12:00 – 10 points available for the winners of the Womens 1sts and Mens 1sts and 2nds. York were strong contenders in their BUSA leagues this year, while Lancaster were relegated in both the Mens and Womens leagues. York will be hoping for a large point haul here.
Fencing at 14:30 – 10 more points available in the Mens, Womens and Mens 2nds competitions. A small sport, but with a huge amount of points on offer. York’s Mens team have only lost 3 times this season, and this sport could well be pivotal in the overall results.
So then, with 101 points available, the outcome of today’s events will go a long way to deciding which AU President will lift the Carter-James Trophy on Sunday night – and who will be gunged. Highlights coming up:
To recap for those at the back, the Men’s Darts did eventually come to a close yesterday evening, witha win, and two points for Lancaster. That means that they begin the day a point ahead, but York made up a 14-point deficit on a great day for the White Roses.
There’s a stiff breeze blowing across the Lancaster campus this morning, and the warming sun from yesterday has failed to turn up. Not that I would know in the SCAN cave, where I have been for a grand total of 24 straight hours. Sleeping on the hard, barely carpeted floor was perhaps the least comfortable experience of my life, but who knows – maybe I’ll be sent to prison in North Korea before I die to supersede the pain. Dedication boys and girls: Dedication.
09:17 Lancaster 46 – 45 York
Good morning and welcome back to Nouse’s Live coverage of Roses 2008. Today promises to be a pivotal 12 hours in the destiny of the 44th Roses championship, with the teams practically inseparable after yesterday’s events