Efes, the local fast food outlet situated on Heslington Road, has been banned from making deliveries on campus by YUSU and University Security.

Former York student Elnar Askerov and his accomplice have been sentenced to a suspended jail term and ordered to undertake 300 hours of community service each after attempting to defraud the University.

Magic P and the Innuendos wowed the crowds in a packed Vanbrugh college on Saturday night, partying their way to success in the Battle of the Bands final.

This year’s Fusion: In Motion takes the world of cinema as its starting-point. Split loosely into sections such as Horror, Romance and Sci-Fi, the show combines modelling and choreographed posing with a wide variety of dancing, from tap and ballroom to breakdancing, robots and Soulja-boy’s.

The sexually-charged nature of the play provided many challenging scenes, but neither physical contact nor exposure seemed to faze the cast. This impressive production provides a great deal of entertainment, with the opportunity to admire some first-class acting.

Presidential frontrunners Payne and Kunwar forced to defend their election promises as pirate candidate Scott confirms that he wants the job.

The race for YUSU President is wide open according to a poll of voting intentions conducted by Nouse.

British Iranian stand-up comic Omid Djalili has recently become something of a people’s ambassador for inter-racial issues, bringing humour to the forefront of shaky political ground. His latest national tour, Omid Live 2008, disproves this self-appointed title in no way.

I can see exactly how it happened. It would have been in the YUSU office, about 2:15 in the morning.

Vanbrugh Bar. The bar is almost deserted, except for a young couple. The female member of the duo, EDWINA, is searching through her bag. The male, DAN, looks on, forlorn.

Half past five in the afternoon is never scarier than in February on Tang Hall Lane. Twilight reigns and the Co-op crew cast a sinister shadow across my path.

You thought you were bumbling and charming. A sort of Hugh Grant method; it works particularly well if you’re a little bit well spoken, and a fair bit middle class.

“How come your grandma hasn’t sent any cake in ages?” “She’s got cancer.” Inappropriate comments are the easy triumphs of social comedy and I am extraordinarily gifted.

This week the secretary for health, Alan Johnson, introduced a smart-aleck idea: Local authorities adding fluoride to the water supply.

Thinking about a recent Jonathan Ross interview with Ringo Starr the other week, I found myself using the half-comprehending undergraduate poststructuralist’s word of choice: ‘discourse’.