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Famous Students

January 23, 2008
Raf Sanchez

Not all students are fighting anonymity, says Raf Sanchez, some are battling fame instead.

‘The student body’ is a distinctly dreary phrase, and for all the plaudits draped over our collective personage, it can be difficult to feel like anything more than another tea-drinking, perpetually-hungover microbe in a body that already has thousands of them. You, my little platelet friend, are nothing special. But what about those that are? What of the students that; due either to personal achievement or famous lineage, stand out enough to merit the attentions of the outside world? Here are six of these peculiar creatures and the stories of how they balanced the pressures of international celebrity with their student duties of drinking, sleeping and eating.

Zimbabwean heiress and Leeds law student Chelsy Davy shot to tabloid fame after being photographed with Prince Harry in Argentina in 2004. When Davy moved to Leeds in September 2007, the paparazzi dutifully migrated north, setting up a permanent encampment outside Davy’s Headingly flat. The Daily Mail’s discomfort was palpable as it reported: “The living-room walls of these houses are typically covered in posters of rock bands. A penis, 3ft high, has been drawn on a mirror in shaving foam in one.” Her student neighbours have allegedly been offered £300 for pictures of her, whilst university security have gleefully adopted their new job of frogmarching unwanted photographers off campus. Snaps of the post-graduate student doing anything more exciting than walking around in big coats and leggings or drinking coffee could be worth thousands. Despite claims that Davy was dropping out (the News of the World ran the headline ‘Leeds… my a***’), she remains at the University, often seen in her local Vodka Revolutions.

Aged 66 and after completing two successful (and fictional) terms as US President, West Wing star Martin Sheen, took up a place at the National University of Ireland, Galway in September 2006. Sheen embarked on a tightly focused course of English Literature, Philosophy and Oceanography. As a reformed alcoholic, Sheen opted out of most fresher’s week activities, allegedly spending much of his time in debate with the university chaplain instead. Well known for his left-wing political views, there was an unsurprising scramble amongst student groups to enlist his celebrity in the activist’s arsenal. He soon became involved in protests against the Irish government’s decision to allow US bombers to refuel at Shannon, as well as against the exploitation of mushroom pickers. Proposals were also mooted that Sheen front a campaign against the rising price of baked potatoes in the university canteen. One student speculated: “He’s got an Irish background hasn’t he? He’d probably love to have a baked potato.”

Natalie Portman was already a target of resentment after her role in Léon at the age of 13, and gaining admission to Harvard for psychology (one place per 11 applicants) while performing in a Broadway version of Anne Frank’s Diary probably didn’t help. More frustratingly still, it seems Portman is actually intelligent enough to deserve to be there. She enjoyed straight A’s, speaks five languages, and contributed to a major study in 2002, pithily entitled ‘Frontal Lobe Activation During Object Permanence’. To the disappointment of the tabloids, her only major foray into the public gaze was neither an unexpected pregnancy nor a leaked sex tape, but a resounding rebuttal to Harvard Crimson’s article which accused Israel of “racist colonial occupation”. She signed her response with her real name, Natalie Hershlag. During her summer break Portman would unwind by filming Star Wars: Episodes I-III, each of which took hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office. What a slacker.

As the world’s shock at the assassination of Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto began to subside, its gaze turned to her son and political successor, 19-year old Oxford student Bilawal Bhutto Zardari. Zardari left Oxford at the end of last term as the reasonably anonymous Bilawal Lawalib, (the adopted surname is his first name backwards) a History student at Christ Church College. His mother’s death and his subsequent appointment to her position of Chairman of the Pakistan People’s Party has made Zardari one of the most recognized people of his age group, with a number of Facebook groups springing up including the fairly tasteless ‘Let’s not assassinate Bilawal Bhutto because he’s hot, ok?’. With well over 1,000 members the group’s creator has ordered members not to discuss Pakistan or politics but to simply “REPSECT [sic] THE HOTTNESS!” Zardari is a regular attendee of the Oxford Union, of which his mother was president during her time at Oxford, and former president Luke Tryl said Zardari was “very charismatic and engaging; he speaks confidently and eloquently.” Thames Valley Police have made special security arrangements for the student since his return to Oxford this month.

First Twins Barbara and Jenna Bush started college (Yale and the University of Texas, respectively) in 2000, weighed down with the usual student accoutrement of pots, pans and heavily armed government bodyguards. Both followed in the footsteps of their parents – First Lady Laura Bush went to Texas, while the somewhat intellectually mediocre George was a fourth generation Yalie. Like her mother, Jenna was a member of national sorority Kappa Alpha Theta. A blogger at Vanderbilt University described the sorority as “Jesus-loving, bible-hugging and Southern bred.” In 2001 both Bushes were arrested in Austin, Texas and charged with being minors in possession of alcohol. A month later Jenna was charged with using a fake ID (the ID read ‘Barbara Pierce’, the maiden name of her grandmother and the former First Lady) to try and buy alcohol. In 2003 a member of the Whitehouse leaked to the press that Jenna and Barbara’s Secret Service code names were ‘Twinkle’ and ‘Turquoise’ respectively. It’s still unknown whether the names were directly lifted from, or simply inspired by, the ‘My Little Pony’ playset. After her graduation in 2004 it was reported that Barbara’s possessions were flown back to Texas by Air Force One.