Nicky Woolf Goes way back
Nouse, back in November 1972, was becoming the deadly serious paper you now know and love, but it still found space to run the odd whimsical article.
This one is a fascinating anecdote about a member of the Nouse editorial team. It sits unassumingly on page 7, between an anti-apartheid advert, Greg Dyke’s political column (he talks about Peter Hitchens - then York student, now Daily Mail columnist and general ignoramus - an awful lot), a review of a Ford Cortina Estate (“suspension absolutely first-class”), and the headlines “Attend the Vietnam demonstration, Sunday 4th” and “Hes Hall Occupation Ends”.
It shares a paper with such classified ads as “Wanted: a philosopher whose name ends with one and a half Ns to form the third member of a universal-world-wide-inter-galactic triumvirate,” “WARS, Rape, Pillage, General Destruction to suit customer. Easy terms arranged. Apply ‘Aggression UnLimited’, the One-Armed Avenger, Vanbrugh College,” and “WINNALL WANTS A WOMAN – applicants should stand by the phallic thing in Langwith quad between 1900-2300 shouting ‘I am a widgeon’.”
But nestled within the political diatribes, surrealist small-ads and Greg Dyke, Nouse saw fit to run a small story about its own news editor.
It begins “Once upon a time, the modest and unassuming news-editor of Nouse was standing by the side of the Watford by-pass on the long trek back from York to Oxford.
“T’was at that very moment,” it continues, “when an unfortunate occurrence took place. A snapping sound rent the air and she realised with desolation that the elastic in her knickers had rebelled against their supportive functions.
“A car pulls up, a hundred yards up the road. A brief sprint to the car and the aforementioned clout is conspicuously drifting around her ankles, to the alarm of the driver, an extremely straight chemistry lecturer at Hatfield Polytechnic.”
The story ends in a tone bordering on awe. “In true Katherine Whitehorn tradition, your bold and courageous correspondent stepped out of the offending garment and removed it to her handbag.”
Isn’t that just brilliant? One can hardly imagine her present-day successor reacting with such aplomb; fortunately for us all, his pant elastic is made of stronger stuff.
Toby
I believe that news editor was the one and only Linda Grant (http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/news/story/0,,2014596,00.html) who now writes for the Guardian - reckon she might have gone up in the world a little…
Rinky Stingpiece
“Peter Hitchens - then York student, now Daily Mail columnist and general ignoramus”
I see you’ve discovered balatron-esque irony.
At least Hitchens gets paid to talk $hit; you clowns do it for charity.
Jamie
I’m just so pleased Rinky Stingpiece has returned just as I am due to head back to York for a while. Keep it up Stingpiece!