The dangers of loose women

A terrible thing happened. I was watching daytime telly and an advert trying to persuade people to donate to Childline came on. At the end a slogan came up on the screen: ‘Who would abused children talk to if it wasn’t for Childline?’ Unfortunately, I read it as ‘Who would Childline talk to if it wasn’t for abused children?’ Oh dear.

It put me right off – not abused children, no no! – daytime TV, I mean. I’m starting to think that the Loose Women are more dangerous than they first appear. A recent episode involved members of McFly coming on stage with their trousers ’round their ankles because the Women had been talking about how much they like bottoms. They proceeded to ask the hapless boy band which member had the nicest bum. Now, if you’re in a boy band, having a nice bum is quite important. If one member has a particularly noteworthy one, it’s probably going to be a source of tension. Asking McFly to compare derriere notes is a bit like asking all the members of Girls Aloud, plus Lily Allen, to weigh themselves on live television. Their website describes the Loose Women as ‘candid’; I think perverse would be more accurate.

I blame their programme for warping my perspective, leading directly to the misreading of the Childline slogan. Maybe I should write to Childline and explain my anxiety, although campaigning against Loose Women might be an unacceptable deviation from campaigning to protect abused children. And I’m pretty sure, despite the pain the Loose Women have inflicted upon me, that I no longer qualify as a child, so I’m not really the demographic they’re looking to help out, am I? I’ll call someone else —the Good Samaritans? That Frank drug helpline? Lorraine Kelly?

5 comments

  1. 3 Dec ’07 at 8:12 pm

    holly jacobs

    im really shocked that they allow unqualified women on tv who know nothing other than how to chitter chatter….
    they offend people on a daily basis..
    as a lot of their target audience will not be working and are largely poor…them coming on tv saying…im offto thailand again, i do my xmas shopping in france, i bought a house in spain….omg give me a break its not like u have earned ur money…u do an hours show a day thats it…
    waje up u will make ur viewers feel worthless….
    stupid loose women..the show really needs to sendthem on training courses who cares about their opinions on anything…
    what a joke…

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  2. Sorry, love, but perhaps you need glasses if you mis-read something on television.. or pay more attention to the advert than your computer writing silly things like this, that quite frankly, is pathetic.

    To he honest, people who watch loose women are of c1 c2 class, and therefore are a little more amused by the fact that ‘darriars’ are on the TV. if you dont like what they talk about, then dont watch it. End of. S

    Sorry, im a media student, and still i can see that your pompus and have nothing better to do than write pointless things on here.

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  3. 12 Jun ’08 at 1:51 am

    David Sanderson

    I work shifts, so ‘came across’ (pardon the expression this show by accident, all I can say about it….It is so bad it is good, the most addictive yet awful thing ever on TV, it is incredibly naff but strangely watchable and at times worth videoing!

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  4. loose women is fucking shite…end of!
    If i have to hear jackie brambles quote her living in LA once more ill commit suicide.

    biggest pile of shit on TV.

    ITV is a disgrace,dont even get me started on GMTV >:(

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  5. I love Loose Women – especially if Denise Welch is on it. I love Denise – she’s blonde, bubbly and funny – so much better than Carol McGiffin – a talentless woman whose only claim to fame is that she was Chris Evans’ wife and no doubt could drink him under the table. Jane, Jackie, Coleen, Sherrie and Lynda are also great – as is Andrea – but for me, the show belongs to Denise,.

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