Vanbrugh Paradise Corner
This week: A bit of banter, Roses Stylee by Anjli Raval
The Roses weekend has yet again provided an abundance of stories of scandal and drunken misdemeanours, originating from both the York and Lancaster sides and all in the name of banter.
From pantomime horses to water balloons and the chanting of “your mum’s your dad, your dad’s your mum you dirty inbred Lancaster scum” or, “you’re a Poly in disguise!” the tournament came to pass in its customary fashion.
The Lancaster first-year representative streaked across the field during half-time of the Men’s First Team rugby match in a bow to tradition. He made his way towards the York team huddle, only to be ushered away angrily by the team coach. It was then that this rather well-rounded student was chased off the field by a York rugby ‘old boy’ style more akin to cops and robbers than to Rugby players.
The Lancaster Rugby boys seemed to take their nakedness seriously, with two of the team who had not scored during the season incurring the penalty of having to do a ‘Naked Run’. Sadly their lack of scoring seemed to have proportionately affected their respective appendages, and spectators were left to wonder at the wisdom of baring all when ‘all’ happened to be very small.
On a sadder note, the Lancaster Men’s Hockey First team captain, Bowler, was spotted crying after the teams 2-0 defeat and his sending off during the match on Saturday. Shame.
Hockey seemed to be at the heart of university rivalry and banter, with an infamous Lancastrian taking centre stage with his megaphone. He hurled abuse at the York Women’s hockey team, shouting out players’ shirt numbers followed by insults such as “you’re ugly!”. On the other hand, the charming student did also shout out his phone number to the girls he thought were better looking.
Excessive consumption of alcohol, as expected, generated hedonistic behaviour from York University students in particular. York’s squash team were escorted out from the Roses Ball for doing press-ups on the dance floor; bottles were thrown outside of Mc Q’s and even physical violence ensued in the car park of the Charles XII pub. Campus’ notorious Richard ‘Ginge’ Davis even managed to push former SU President Mickey Armstrong through a window in Derwent in his drunken state.
Finally, I have been reliably informed that the teams that play together not only stay together but sleep together. The Lancaster University Women’s Badminton team must be mentioned for having a drunken orgy in Derwent on Saturday.
