Dear Nouse,

I am sick to the back-teeth of my flatmates. They are inconsiderate and unhygienic with regards to washing pots, pans and themselves. I have a sneaking suspicion that one of them stole a cape from Medieval Re-enactment Society, and he currently wears it shamelessly round campus. Another housemate persists on letting off firecrackers in the middle of the night, with complete disregard for the poor young man on the floor below with an eardrum problem and far less for the sanity of our block as a whole.

I am writing to demand that the University adopt a more strident filtering process when considering applicants, in order to weed out the kind of sociopathic freaks I have ended up with. Why does York seem to attract people like the quasi-alcoholic chemistry student on my floor who persists in urinating in our shower and shrieking endlessly when in a state of intoxication. I want to open up a forum for those with similar problems.

Disgruntled of James

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