Get myself arrested
How the South-west will be won
I’ve never actively campaigned for a good cause. I’ve never spent a week in a tunnel demonstrating against a bypass. I’ve never camped for six years outside of Parliament to protest against a mythical “war on terror”. And neither have I been arrested for my efforts. The bizarre and original campaigning efforts of the most high-profile protesters put my lack of activism to shame. As a student, I think the time is nigh for me to jump right into the world of environmental protection, human rights or something else suitably close to my moral centre.
Getting into trouble with the police in an interesting and imaginative manner seems to be the main way of joining the direct action end of the political debate. Take Ric Lander, the York student who recently spent a night in a cell for chaining himself with chicken wire, carpets and drain-pipes to fellow protesters against Trident operating at Faslane. A big white elephant imaginatively emblazoned with the slogan “Say No to Nuclear Power – it is a white elephant!” was also taking part in the demonstrations. Or how about Rose Rickford, a YUSU LGBT officer facing trial this year for her part in a four hour runway sit-in against the aviation industry’s seeming indifference to climate change.
Fighting for good causes should be fun, even if the government doesn’t seem to view it this way. It failed to see the humorous side of Batman and Robin scaling the walls of Buckingham Palace or two hundred Father Christmases storming the lobby of the Lord Chancellor’s department. The law now requires that prospective demonstrators inform the police of their plans at least seven days before they take place. Protests aren’t exactly intended to be regulated in such a way.
Well I say stuff the government, I want to instigate massive change. Something close to my heart has to be the plight of my homeland; the much ridiculed, yet ultimately individual West Country. Well, two fingers to the Cornish, I want to create a campaign for the removal of Somerset from the United Kingdom. It should be recognised as a country in its own right, providing my fellow West Country-ers with the national identity that stigma already give us. Perhaps its slogan could be “Independent Somersetians ‘RRR’ Us”?
It makes perfect sense to me. We have our own language – have a chat with a local, you’ll see what I mean – and a strong sense of community and family. Combine this with our own national anthem – a certain song including references to combine ‘arvesters and personal acreage – and the argument for independence should be all but settled. Maybe to promote my cause I could climb the Houses of Parliament dressed as a large lump of extra-mature cheddar? Or ride through the middle of London on a bloody great big tractor, gleefully watching the traffic stack up behind me?
You hear all these stories of protesters being detained under numerous terrorist attacks and I quite like the fact that promoting Somerset independence may possibly brand me as a terrorist. I’m not planning on any Eta-style devastation – I have vision of pitchfork wielding peasants, all very medieval, I just want to inject some more fun into the politics of today. Surely, as students it’s our duty to don silly outfits and get arrested in the most novel of ways. Join me in my campaign, or start one for yourselves. Meet you in the lower barn at sunset – oo arr.
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