El Piano, Grape Lane
Rating: 
Ave. food price: £12
Ave. drink price: £3.50
‘I didn’t want to buy a rug, but I ended up eating one,’ were my thoughts as I left El Piano, a quirky little restaurant on the corner of Grape Lane near the Biltmore. I won’t be too harsh, the decor was culturally attractive and I almost felt as if I’d made the trip over to Mexico, especially when the foreign waitress misunderstood me and tried to add an extra digit to my £14 bill.
The menu needed an Enigma machine, though with a friend’s help I managed to arrive at the decision of ordering buckwheat noodles, quorn chilli con carne and deep fried spice balls. The next challenge was to decide upon the size of the dish. They are served in three sizes, starting at £2.95 up to £6.95 and however much you spent, you weren’t getting your money’s worth.
When the food eventually turned up, I was too hungry to care that it lacked any meat. The buckwheat noodles were, in hindsight, a regrettable choice, but at least the quorn chilli con carne was palatable. There was a ray of sunshine though: the deep fried spice balls, when consumed with the mango-chutney sauce, were most delightful.
Quite frankly, if you are not one for a vegetarian experience, switch ‘Piano’ for ‘Gaucho’ and have an Argentinian steak.
