Students “no match” for York Dalek
YORK RESIDENT Andrew Simpson has come up with a surprising new method to curb the disturbance created by rowdy, drunken students. Simpson, 22, has spent £1,000 and eight months on the construction of life-sized model of a Dalek, complete with a voice box issuing the message “I don’t like students. You will be exterminated!” Simpson claims that students are “no match” for the Doctor Who creature and that the streets are now noticeably quieter. Future plans will allow it to squirt water and smoke.
The Dalek is built to deter rowdy student behaviour
The existence of the Dalek has been confirmed by a University of York student who sighted the replica on the Hull Road, outside the playing fields of York St John, during a driving lesson. The student’s driving teacher, Pat Winterton, said “I presumed they were filming or something. It made me laugh but I doubt it’ll be effective – I dread to think what drunk students would do if they did come across it!” Dave Stockton, President of York St John’s Students’ Union, responded angrily to the news that the metal monster had been sighted in the vicinity of his university saying that Simpson’s actions were “no better than those of Abu Hamza” in that he was using abusive language against students, who he describes as a minority group.Stockton acknowledged that students often caused disturbance but pointed to their social and economic contribution to the local community.
Stockton urged local residents to make efforts to liaise with York’s relatively small student population instead of continuing to produce such “vitriol”. However another York St John student said “I think its really funny, this guy probably just wants to get revenge for students waking him up after Toffs on a Wednesday night.”
A more orthodox protest against students was recently seen in the Badger Hill area, when residents launched an action group and circulated a petition against letting out family homes as student accomodation in an estate situated near by campus. Paul Hobman said the influx of students “is changing the whole make-up of the area” claiming that up to one is five houses are student homes.
>>COMMENT: Exterminating stereotypes
Kong
The President is a bellend. Has he never heard of Godwin’s law?
Admin
I had to google Godwin’s law. How have I spent this many hours on the internet and missed that?!
Robin
Only a Nazi wouldn’t get that
Tom
[Dave Stockton, President of York St John’s Students’ Union, responded angrily to the news that the metal monster had been sighted in the vicinity of his university saying that Simpson’s actions were “no better than those of Abu Hamza” in that he was using abusive language against students, who he describes as a minority group.]
Dave Stockton is clearly a dickhead then.