The joy of taking a road trip
The ultimate way to travel is not by train or plane but, as Flora Bradwell explains, the humble automobile
Road trips are something of a right of passage among young people and students alike. Despite the automobile orientated nature of this pastime, anyone can take part. All you require to set a road trip in motion (literally) is either a driver’s licence and car or, potentially even better, a friend who owns a car, who can hopefully also drive.
There is one further thing to keep in mind before you zoom off into the sunset in search of the wild adventures of the open road, and that is whether you have motion sickness or not. For, there is no fate worse than being squashed in a metal box on wheels, hurtling down a motorway with the constant urge to regurgitate that morning’s quickly snatched breakfast.
So, you have a car and at least one designated driver and have made sure your stomach is hearty enough to withstand speeds of over 70mph; you are almost ready to go. But before you or your trusty chauffeur put the pressure on the accelerator you must remember perhaps the most vital element of any road trip. Not food supplies, not camping equipment and certainly not a map, oh no, the most important aspect of any car journey that will go down in road trip history is a soundtrack. It is the music that makes the memories, and every self-respecting road tripper will have thought of the sounds that will in turn dictate the mood of their voyage through the motorways of the world. Vicky Hallam admits that without her Pocahontas Disney soundtrack her road trip-come-camping extravaganza would have been exceedingly less memorable: “Because of the Pocahontas music I didn’t realise I was driving the wrong way down a one way road,” Vicky confesses. “Suddenly this Land Rover with a caravan attached to it came hurtling towards me. I nearly crashed, but luckily just swerved into a hedge.” However, this seemingly disastrous situation proved to be the making of Vicky and her fellow road trippers’ journey. “The man in the Land Rover came to the hedge to see if we were ok and when he realised we had gone camping without camping gear he left his caravan in the field so we could spend the night in it”. Incidents such as this illustrate the fact that as long as you have music you will need nothing else to sustain you on your jaunt through the hills and valleys of our green and pleasant land.
Will Sewell deems that road trips should contain “really loud music and lots of cars and lots of speed”; the third year archaeologist adds “dig it”. It seems that volume is synonymous with quantity and, unlike small car manufacturers, he would have you believe bigger is definitely better. “If you are in a convoy it’s good ‘cos they can do lots of overtaking and talking to each other”. Definitely it seems that convoys are the flavour of the month when it comes to motorway tours. Young boy racers the world over inspired by films like The Fast and the Furious and Grease are definitely feeling the need for speed and putting the pedal to the metal. History student Will Dixon revels in his recklessness on the road. “We had two car loads going down to Windsor to see some girls we knew and me and my friend were after the same girl and we decided to race the M1 to decide who could chat up the girl. It was the Corsa of Justice vs. the Fiesta of Doom”. Obviously the motorway has replaced the jousting tournament in sorting the men from the boys in this technological age. Luckily the end to this particular story ends happily for our protagonist. “We ended up flanking a car either side, my mate skidded and ended up in a ditch and it took eight hours for them to be pulled out: ample time for me to claim the spoils of war.” The M1 is clearly the battlefield of this century.
As jousters fought for love in the fields of yore, the likes of Will Dixon fight for lust on the motorways of today; and lust, well at least nudity, is another important ingredient to any road trip. Vicky admits to being one of the many flashers of the freeway: “once on a road trip to France I mooned at tourists at the Eiffel tower.” And flashing is not the only way to get attention from the opposite sex while moving at illegal speeds to an awesome soundtrack. A member of a sports team, who wishes to remain nameless, confesses that on a sports tour she and her team mates held up her friend’s number to the window of their coach to a group of soldiers. The resulting textual relations didn’t result in a lasting love, but this brief flirtation definitely enhanced their general motoring experience.
Having reached a destination, even if it was not the one you intended, you may spend your time as you wish. Richard Salthouse, Uni football legend, has a few tips: “I went to Camber Sands with friends once where we enjoyed ourselves by digging holes. I dug a hole so deep that water seeped in, so it was like a bath. Just before I got out I weed in it, then my friend went over to it and washed himself in the water.” Of course things can’t always go so swimmingly, and, as we are in England, the weather is the main enemy to any potential fun. However, you must maintain the stiff upper lip and continue as if everything was going to plan. Rachel Herbert sets the expected tone: “You always set off and it’s sunny and once you get there it’s pissing down with rain. But you still have your wet sandwiches and wear your bikini and sunbathe with the other people who are, like you, under their umbrellas”. Never let the weather think it’s got the better of you.
Having proved able to withstand all weather conditions, out-raced your fellow travellers, and out-nuded motorists en route, the eventual culmination of all these joys is the journey home. This, like all the other stages of any road trip is fraught with danger, as Vicky Hallam found out on her troubled voyage back from Skegness. “We stopped in traffic and some chavs started rocking the car. They rocked it so hard that the car conked out so we had to go to the local bingo hall to find someone to fix the car.” Obviously going to ask at the local grannies’ hang out for complex car repairs is all part of the fun of car journeys. Once Vicky was put safely back on the road she realised that despite all the help the bingo-playing locals of Skegness could offer her the car was not completely road safe and “it conked out again and we ended up in a ditch full of Skegness cows”.
Full of danger, excitement, courage in the face of adversity, potential, though fleeting, romance, and the element of surprise that accompanies any journey, a road trip encompasses all that a gap year has to offer except in a shorter time, with less spectacular views and without the humanitarian aspect. Equally, just like with gap years, the incessant retelling of the japes you had on your various outlandish, wild and positively mad-cap road trips is best kept to a minimum
