Oh f*** - I just graduated
With exams over and student loans exhausted, soon-to-be graduates must now think about life after university. Tom King explores the more financially viable options
Around the nooks and concrete crannies of York University campus, a new species is on the increase. It walks tall, a smug expression of complete immunity from work on its face and a spring in its step. It can be seen at all times of day, basking in the midday sun or staggering home from Ziggy’s at 3 in the morning. It is the soon-to-be-graduate student. However, there is more to these soon-to-be endangered creatures than meets the eye. Beneath their carefree appearance is the knowledge that they soon must leave the university bubble and enter society. So, in an attempt to foster better understanding of this strenuous and painful process, we present a guide to the stages of its development.
Denial is, simply put, the immediate reaction of a balanced mind to the requirement that it plan its entire future in just three weeks.
The first stage is Realisation and, as the name suggests, it is the moment when that niggling feeling (which started around Christmas) finally reaches its apex and the student realises that they must decide what to do with the rest of their lives. For some, this stage is not nearly as unpleasant as for others, as they took the time to decide on an action plan before entering their final year and are, therefore, able actually to move towards their chosen life as soon as exams are finished. These lucky souls get to move straight to Stage Three, but for the rest of us Stage Two awaits: Denial.
Denial is, simply put, the immediate reaction of a balanced mind to the requirement that it plan its entire future in just three weeks. The mind worries about it for a second, undergoes a brief stage of panic and then, very wisely, decides that it can deal with the problem later and so ignores it. This may also be accompanied by a complete disregard for financial factors as it becomes clear that, while the student’s final debt could be reduced by abstaining from certain activities, a lot more fun can be had by maxing-out their overdraft and “Well, this is this the last chance I’ll really get to have fun.”
However, after the final pound has been spent and the final shot downed, there is only one place to go, Stage Three: Acceptance. This is actually quite a pleasant phase as it develops gradually and one morning the student simply wakes up with a positive outlook on the future instead of the hitherto held horror. Now there is just one step left: finally to decide what to do next, an easy choice for those who have already thought long and hard about it, but for the more unsure there are four main routes to pursue.
The easiest option is to go on the dole for a while. At a basic level of £34.60 a week it won’t allow the student a flamboyant lifestyle, but on the plus side it shouldn’t disrupt their day-to-day existence too much. If prepared to properly commit to this way of life then, with a few tweaks to their situation, the student may be able to increase this substantially. For example, getting married to a fellow student of the opposite sex who is equally committed to the plan can boost their claim to £90.10 a week (split between two) and by seriously maiming themselves to give a severe disability, this can be supplemented by £46.75 a week. Thus, with only the minor annoyance of having to attend a job centre once a week (and the loss of a limb), the student can collect up to £91.80 a week with minimum disruption to their lifestyle. (NB. If especially committed, getting a fellow student pregnant and having a child can add an extra £45.68 per week to the tally, up until the point where the child too can become a student and move into the realms of student loanship. Free milk and vitamins can also be claimed until the child is 5, cutting food bills.) Note that this plan will only succeed if you have no money whatsoever as any savings preclude one from claiming the maximum amount.
After all, who would you rather employ, someone who can only talk about maths or someone who can tell you what it’s like to white-water raft through crocodile-infested waters?
If such a stagnant approach does not appeal (or if you are quite attached to all of your body parts and would prefer to remain so) then the next best option in terms of minimum disruption to lifestyle is to take on further study. For some this can mean starting another three year degree because, having studied, for example, Chemistry they’ve realized that what they actually want to do is be a historian. This is, however, an extreme approach and requires either very deep pockets or very understanding parents. A far more realistic idea is a masters degree. These also carry a fairly hefty price-tag of c.£4000 but funding is often widely available from the university or other large companies, provided that you apply early enough, do exactly what they say and lease them your soul for a prearranged amount of time afterwards. Another advantage of this route is that an MA dissertation can potentially be on any subject and can thus allow you to indulge your passion for “Phallic imagery in the London skyline” or “Buses of the Cotswolds, 1936-1940 : Whither the petrol tank?”
Chances are, however, that after spending most of your life in the education system you may feel a little constricted by it and want to see more of the world before you decide on your place in it. This being the case, travel is probably your best option. Again it isn’t cheap but the case can be made that you are “developing people skills” and “gaining life experiences” which can help you enter gainful employment when you get back. After all, who would you rather employ, someone who can only talk about maths or someone who can tell you what it’s like to white-water raft through crocodile-infested waters? (Well, if they’re going to be your accountant then you’d probably choose the first one, but you get the point.) Here the key thing to consider is getting the maximum personal growth at the minimum actual cost.
India is generally good value as 6 months worth of bed and board can be achieved for roughly £630, provided you go the cheapest route. Indonesia is also bargain-basement at £600 for 6 months. Even Thailand can be managed for under £900 and Ecuador can be yours for just £560 (all prices from www.solotravel.org). For an excellent balance of spirituality, cheapness and safety, try Tibet at £1,200. Here robbery is mostly used to fund the people’s rebellion so when you are robbed, you will be given a receipt saying that you have already “donated” which you can show to any subsequent thieves to prevent further thefts.
All of these options require cashflow, though, and if you just can’t raise the money then your only option is to work. However, it needn’t be awful. A job is a job and even if it doesn’t pay much it can still be surprising how much one can earn. The average graduate salary is £22,000 but if you move into the right career you can earn as much as £35,000 straight away. Even if you’re at the bottom of the heap with a starting salary of £14,000 it’s still a great deal more than your student loan of £3,000 so you will still feel rich. And don’t by any means think that you’re committing yourself for life. The modern world of work allows for great flexibility, so, even if you can’t afford to travel or do an MA now, give it several years and do it then. So when you next see a graduate student in the throes of Stage Two tell them to cheer up because, however this all ends, they’re young, intelligent and (possibly) good looking, and the world is their oyster.
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