Another Club D, another drink is spiked. Look chaps, why purchase expensive rohypnol when an apple VK at £1.70 would do the trick?
On the subject of campus events, I hope everyone has seen the latest marketing genius from the ever-controversial Goodricke College. Although copious amounts of naked female flesh do not feature prominently, uproar is beginning to surface. Apparently it contains a dribbling pair of glossy lips.
Whether they belong to a male or female is uncertain at this time, although the nature of the dribble has been brought into question. I think it’s quite straightforward. The person is clearly salivating at the prospect of a delicious bar of Fair Trade chocolate. Very un-sexual indeed. Sexuality is of course bad and degrading and should never be represented on campus in any way other than throughout the alcohol fuelled, drunken debauchery of a campus event.