Blag your degree: Number 09, P.P.E.

So you think you’re cool. In fact so cool that that you can’t even be bothered to say the name of your degree. You just refer to it using those famous (well, as far as you’re concerned) three initials, PPE. As you sit, or rather pose in the Galleria sipping a large mocha whilst reflecting on your Oxford rejection, you spot the latest Club of PEP newsletter. Almost immediately, it has convinced you of your unconditional right to a cushy Deutsche Bank job and at least £100,000 a year before your 21st birthday.

The purpose of this article is to ensure you are equipped to get the job mentioned above. Only a 2.1 will suffice. I’m going to keep it simple. Three subjects require three methods of blagging. Firstly, the one vital thing to remember though is that it’s not what you know that matters, it’s what you can convince other people you know. The art to which I am referring to is bullshitting. Once fine-tuned, this becomes a powerful weapon at your disposal, allowing you to confidently explain Marx’s Communist Manifesto in front of a seminar group full of geeks without ever having read it.

The technique is simple. Listen carefully to your fellow seminar colleagues, carefully spotting the keen ones who have done all the reading to the point of near perfect regurgitation. Reword what they say and add an intelligent sounding point. The tutor will then note your seemingly original contribution and general creativity. Minimum effort, maximum output. This is the ethos of the PPE student. It is no coincidence that social science students have the shortest life expectancy due to alcohol consumption.

When it comes to politics, don’t be fooled into thinking you actually have to do any real reading; the introduction and conclusion will always suffice, provided you have the art of bullshit on your side.

Essentially for philosophy, all you need to remember is that there is never a right answer. Therefore there is no wrong answer. Everything is based on a series of value judgements that are valid as long as you give some sort of vague reason. Just remember not to laugh when your German lecturer mentions Kant and you’ll be fine.

As for economics, two words encompass the whole subject. Supply and demand. Yes, it really is that boring. Just make sure you can stomach hours of Thatcher-adoring lectures. And yes that old hag is still alive!

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