In the epic moral battle of the cigarette, smokers assert their fundamental right to enjoy the release of a fag and a pint in their local, whilst I have to wash everything I’m wearing when I get home.

I wonder then (and I’ve been holding this in so far) if smokers would respect my right, following this logic, to enjoy a beer, whilst farting profusely. In fact, the only difference is that faecal odour dissipates fairly quickly, without requiring industrial quantities of air freshner.

So, as they enjoy combustion so much, next time a smoker lights up in the pub, feel entitled to let rip. In their face.

Alex Gow
Halifax College

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