Number 06, English - Blag your degree
English is amongst the easiest subjects to blag, lacking any real substance. Do not be fooled though. English students, incapable of engaging with a practical discipline, will choose the degree for this very reason: English is blagging in its purest form. Graduates tend to find work in advertising and PR, so the English course is the training house for the next generation of Britain’s liars and fraudsters. To avoid shame and public humiliation then, thorough preparation is absolutely essential for the inexperienced charlatan.
The study of literature began with the intent of ascertaining an author’s true meaning. Then someone suggested that the author could go to hell, it was what we, the readers thought that mattered. This supremely egotistical notion quickly took hold and suddenly a lot of very silly people were given permission to say some very silly things. This, effectively, is an English seminar.
In preparing for a seminar, fashion must inevitably play a part as English contains some of York’s best dressed students. Thankfully, this is a relative notion. However, in the absence of any objective truth, debates will often be awarded to the most outrageous use of pastels, so chaps, stick to cords and you can’t go far wrong; girls, do what you’re doing, but put a beret on it yeah? We’re thinking George Eliot meets Twiggy. Let’s make that happen.
Be warned that some students will actually have read the texts for discussion. This brinkmanship ruins the subject for everyone else, but can be countered with a firm perusal of both the front and back covers of the work, and a brief trip to www.sparknotes.com. If you are challenged factually, simply puff out your cheeks and declare off-handedly, “Well I must say that’s not how I read it.” Then swiftly change the subject, ideally to a discussion of postmodernism in the work. This will give you ample time to make your escape.
Eventually an essay will be required, but such occurrences are generally infrequent, and the internet is an excellent tool for plagiarism. Remember: footnote thoroughly and drink plenty of fluids. You can’t go wrong.
