It’s time at the bar

by nouse | October 12th, 2005

Now that the University have successfully gained their 2am late licenses, students no longer have any excuse not to go drinking on campus. Thanks to this fantastic news it seems all the profit problems commerical services’ have had over the last year will end, as students pour into the bars at all times of day.

In fact, it might not even stop at 2am, with bars matching the demand for drink at all times of day and night. Soon Vanbrugh Bar might offer a 24 hour Asda style service allowing you to top up your alcoholic desires whenever you feel the urge. The University’s well oiled profit making machine couldn’t have asked for better legislation for hooking students onto the fun inspiring drug.

Forget liberal ideals with paternal checks to ensure you don’t drink yourself into a coma. Drink away and remember you’re helping to ensure that the University can invest your money into propagating wars and lining their pockets while you’re doing it. Drinking deals may some come into force wherein you get a discount on your tuition fees if you have to skip seminars to make way for your new social schedule.

But remember guys and girls if you are drinking in a bar within sixty miles of a Heslington resident to keep the noise down. We wouldn’t want our University to lose its license because you’re being too rowdy. Perhaps you could just drink in a sound proofed, isolated environment with just your wallet for company