York tops duck leagues

THE UNIVERSITY of York has fought off competition from Oxbridge and other ‘redbrick’ institutions to come top of the table once again with something a little closer to the student’s heart.

Volunteers, including a group of environmentalist Quakers, have tallied the number of wildfowl per rood (or ducks per 1,011 square metres) of the country’s leading universities. York leads the pack with an impressive duck density of 11.6, only approached by Loughborough University with 8.5 duck and Leeds University with 7.0 ducks, according to website duckdensity.co.uk.

The unpopular Greylag geese which dominate the York campus, has been described by Electronics student Ben Jarvis as a “poor man’s Canada goose”. Clearly showing that popularity isn’t in numbers, the sole Ruddy Shel duck, known as ‘Damien’ to several second year Biology students, is a campus favourite as Gaz Jenkins was willing to reveal. “Damien bosses all the other ducks, I‘ve seen him fell a Greylag when he‘s on form.”

However not all students are happy with York topping the university bird table, as James college members witnessed during the mass duck excrement clear up before the 2004 Quad Dash. Second year History student Shaun Messenger said: “Instead of a duck culling at the end of term there could be a welcome addition to the Vanbrugh roast.”

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