You should definitely read this as it concerns you. Yes you. All of you in fact. Every single one of you people who regularly frequent this campus, and in doing so apparently take your very life into your own hands.
Be warned. You’re all going to be raped or murdered if you spend too much time on campus because this place is so bloody dangerous. If you’re intent on pursuing your degree, you might as well mentally consign yourself to being the victim of, at the very least, horrible mutilation by rampaging drunks.
Some people might label this kind of blatant media overhyping as bad, but they’re wrong or insane and should be shot by one of the terrorist muggers who roam around by central hall at night, waiting for passing geeks to menace.
Sweet dreams kids.