Which coffee?

It’s getting towards the end of term and those deadlines that seemed so far away are fast approaching. The inevitable week of all nighters is clearly in sight. Every student’s killer instinct comes into play, and you find yourself reaching for the caffeine. To save you the stress of minging coffee the bar and restaurants team put their heart rates at risk and sampled the quality of York’s caffeine.

Langwith, 60p
Never one to let us down with food, Langwith is sadly lacking in the beverage department. The inadequate size of the polestyrine cups leave something to b e desired. The contents of these miniscule containers may perk you up, but the buzz will desert you after five minutes. One might be tempted to add milk to increase the size of their beverage but this addition will render your coffee unfortunately and unappetisingly grey. This is sadly not my cup of tea. Have a creme egg instead to cheer yourself up and amuse yourself at the expense of the woman talking to herself in the corner.

Essential Cafe, £1.30
Somewhat larger than Langwith’s offering, Essential’s coffee is secreted from a large silver contraption. I’m not sure what difference this makes, but the coffee was very bitter. Even with three sugars. However, it still has the desired effect, but not enough to get you through a whole two hour seminar. In order to avoid disapointment, wash down your coffee with the delicious pecan pie on offer.

Starbucks £2.50
If you like your sugar with coffee and cream, then Starbucks is the place to go. The saccherine sweetness with which the staff offer up their caffeine based products is sickening. Despite the quality of the offering, the fact that you are drinking overpriced coffee from an exploitative chain is enough to leave a bitter taste in anyone’s mouth. Even though the fruit scones are really nice, resist the temptation to indulge. As Mrs. Derwent Provost says: Boycott Starbucks, no logo!

Cafe Nero, £1.90
With relaxing jazz music in the background and free water for all (yay!), Cafe Nero is a haven in the dog eat dog world of coffee houses. Once you’ve worked out your mocca-frocca- latte from your decaf-vanilla-frappo you shall do well. Comfy seats are the order of the day, where you can relax from the shock of the overpticed food.

Whittards, £3.20
Whittards is the only way to recreate a coffee house environment in your lounge. If you are machine will be there to play with, in which case you will get your buzz completely gratis. The B & R team recc lucky, the tastingomend any caffeine based product with “java” in it’s title. It’s cool. Also the lemon tea is yummy for those whose body is a temple.