Star Letter – A masturbatory masterpiece?

While I do consider myself a fan of nouse – certainly in comparison to campus’ tit-seeking tabloid Vision – I feel I have to remonstrate with Robbie Dale’s latest stream of babble. The first two paragraphs were amongst the most horribly patronising attempt at journalism I’ve read; addressing anyone with the suggestion that they may be ‘confused’ by the sparkling intellect of His opening paragraph, and that they should allow Him to give us a ‘history lesson’, is to be arrogant in the extreme. To do so to fellow students – including those who read History or Geography, unlike Mr. Dale himself – is beyond belief.

The conclusion to the column elevated my reaction from initial amusement at one man’s arrogance, to angered disbelief at His words. The suggestion that campus bands should have considered the power which their music could potentially hold is, while wildly misplaced in comparison to the music of Bob Marley, a sentiment which, rightly, many of this year’s bands seemed to hold dear. Many seized the unique opportunity to perform experimental live music, such as the huge ensembles of The Hasselhoff Family Castaways and Follow The Marked Trees Forever, to the genre-inventing C64, all the way through to the purely comic Broken Tooth and Rap World.

Given Dale’s nauseatingly superior tone throughout His scribbles, one would assume that He had been a part of an equally inventive outfit. But no; instead, He played with what could be described at best as generic, uninteresting lounge music, and more realistically a horribly blatant attempt to publicise Himself further by playing safe, unexperimental music, popular with the masses who have little interest in hearing anything they haven’t heard before.

When I open the pages of nouse, I don’t expect to receive a faceload of jizz from Robbie Dale’s masturbatory ‘journalism’, nor do I wish that myself and my fellow students should provide the collective anus into which He shamelessly thrusts his self-promotion into.

Jessica Outcrop – Alcuin College