I-gone and leaver

Picture this. A male student swaggers, grinning, over a toilet bowl thinking about how much of a jovial legend he is. The cause of his mirth stems from the fact that he is vomiting intermittently into said bowl, while simultaneously drinking a VK Apple from his left hand and puffing on a cigarette from the right.

Of course, looking back on it, it probably doesn’t seem as funny for that student, whoever he is. It probably just melts into the big steaming pile of memories associated with frequenting Ikon. Other such chestnuts may include numerous fights, glassings, various incidences of underage drinking and the obligatory sociopathic door staff.

I doubt many people will miss it that much. Not sure about the proposed strip club though. Do they really think that people want to spend their evenings amid a frenzy of writhing, sweaty, flesh? Hang on, that sounds familiar. Will the transition from club to club actually involve making any changes?

There probably won’t be any alteration in the amount of skin on show, but I imagine the clientele will be slightly different, namely fatter, hairier and balder.

It’ll probably help to keep the perverts off the street. Although that’s really a bit of a shame. Sex-pests are always good for a laugh. I’ve also heard a rumour that some cheeky gangsters fancy a piece of the York tourist trade, so maybe this is an omen of things to come, you slag.