Battle of the Bands: The Morning Thieves steal the show
Music journalism is a lot like the plot of a James Bond movie - it involves the arts of disguise and persuasion to get past DoorSafe and infiltrate Goodricke dining hall to get nouse exclusives from the Battle of the Bands finalists. We were greeted by an empty room where the air was heavy with dry ice and the master of ceremonies for the evening, Mr James Alexander, with his ubiquitous sidekick and compere Ozzy Atton, enjoyed a breather before the hulabuloo ensued.
The student body was given a great show, with the impressive festival-style YSTV big screen showing highlights and close-ups of the stage and URY kidnapping the bands for interviews afterwards. You could be forgiven for thinking that maybe the SU were taking this whole thing too seriously, with DoorSafe escorting the bands from the venue to the ‘backstage’ area for exclusive interviews.
The finalists seemed to be enjoying their fifteen minutes of fame, each of the band members taking the opportunity to talk to the gathered student press (with the notable exception of nouse columnist Robbie Dale from runners-up Smokescreen, who was conspicuous by his absence). Although Sarah Richards (the lead singer of Smokescreen), Jon Conlay and The Morning Thieves did take the time to talk to nouse, all seemed somewhat overwhelmed by the whole experience.
Some of the acts already have a cult following on campus, with groupies crowding the front of the stage wearing t-shirts for bands like The Moguls and fans throwing clothes at Jon Conlay very much in the style of Tom Jones’ aficionados. In fact, sometimes the groupies in front of the stage were more entertaining than the bands on it; with matching pink t-shirts and strange props, the fans of the Moguls made the onstage music look muted in comparison.
After several pints of lager I stumbled backstage and accosted the front man of The Moguls, who goes by the lovely name of Martin. He claims the band take their influences from The Beatles and The Beach Boys and jokingly describes his music as “indescribable… beautiful orgasmic pleasure.” Throughout our conversation I notice that he rarely makes eye contact and his body language is quite introverted, yet on stage he sings loudly and banters gregariously with the audience. Martin is surprised that the The Moguls reached the final since they’ve only been together for eight weeks and reckons (rightly) that they wouldn’t have a chance next to The Morning Thieves, who he likens to nineties pop sensations Take That.
Surveying the backstage area I notice that one, unnamed band have been indulging in the rock ‘n roll lifestyle with a lethal cocktail of Babysham and cheap painkillers amongst rows and rows of guitars. I feel that I have journeyed into the depths of rock ‘n roll mayhem, until I notice the keyboardist of Jon Conlay has roses in his back pocket and that they have written erotic pseudonyms for their bands on the blackboard in the ‘backstage’ area, which doubles as a seminar room.
The Morning Thieves, the final act of the evening, had a sense of humility about them when nouse finally caught up with them in the men’s toilets of Goodricke bar. Asked if their name had any deep, hidden meaning the band said that it was the best name out of a list of terrible ones. Asked about their chances of winning they would only make flattering noises about the five good bands that they were in competition with. As fans of Nadsat Fashion, the first act, The Morning Thieves were happy to banter with the other bands and ran out deserved winners in the end.
How the competition measured up on the night
The Morning Thieves
Nouse managed to catch up with The Morning Thieves in the men’s toilets of Goodricke bar (don’t ask) for a chat about the gig, their thoughts on the competition and their chances of winning. The Morning Thieves met through the University of York Christian Union, dispelling the myth that the Devil has all the best tunes with their own style of sublime pop-rock and show-stealing songs. What set The Morning Thieves apart from the crowd was their musical proficiency, with the band swapping instruments throughout the set and the guitar and keyboard players looked like the only musicians on the night who had really learned to play their instruments. The Morning Thieves looked like winners before the result was even announced; the crowd really were enjoying themselves, almost as much as the band was.
Smokescreen
Smokescreen were possibly the most intriguing band of the night, as when they were good they were very very good, and when they were bad they sounded like a Eurovision entry. Their collective vocal power was showcased on a fantastic cover of Heard it through the Grapevine, but let down by a weak version of Son of a Preacher Man, although this isn’t so surprising as Sarah Richards, the lead singer, admitted she learned the track “in two days.” The band clearly have potential, as their own material is strong and they make maximum use of an unconventional line up, which includes a double bass. Unfortunately this is let down by their stage presence - the keyboardist was guilty of the same sort of pointing and waving gestures more often associated with wedding singers. They could develop into a fine campus jazz band. Alternatively, they could become a Young Heart Attack for the middle aged.
Nadsat Fashion
The disappointment of the night was Nadsat Fashion, the only band whose place in the finals was questionable. Guilty of the kind of indie posturing that makes Morrissey look like he’s having a laugh, the band’s image and set made me wonder if all their rehearsals took place in Toni and Guy. The band members are undoubtedly proficient and have a great deal of talent, but none of their songs stood out as original. They covered The Strokes’ breakthrough track, Last Night, which only served to emphasise a desire to emulate their musical heroes rather than to innovate. However, offstage, the band seemed to be having a wonderful time, dancing enthusiastically and looking increasingly like Rachel Stamp, having acquired a few feather boas. If Nadsat Fashion can take this kind of energy and combine it with their obvious talents, they may produce the kind of material that could win them the competition in the future.
The Moguls
“Are you going to have more fun now The Moguls are here?” shouted the singer of The Moguls, looking remarkably like Tabby from The X Factor dressed like Howling Pelle Almqvist from The Hives. Sadly, the answer was no. The Moguls are a band whose hype was only surpassed by their own inflated sense of worth, and I got the sense that the groupies in the crowd were girlfriends and flatmates rather than real fans of the band. There are some songs that should never be covered, at least not without some creative changes, and The Moguls rendition of The Beatles classic Hey Jude was nothing short of blasphemy. Someone had said that The Moguls were the second best act in the history of Battle of the Bands, but as it turned out they weren’t even the second best band on the night, finishing a deserved third behind Smokescreen and winners The Morning Thieves.
Jon Comlay
For me, the highlight of the night were the tragically unplaced Jon Comlay, who played some truly filthy electronica. Chris, the keyboardist and “clumsy band member” recalls the night they met: “It was in Toffs Indie room, to Blondie’s Heart of Glass,” which on their website they deem the “the perfect pop song.” The band were originally known as Factory, a reference to their lyric “straight out of the factory and into the discotheque,” demonstrating a refreshing sense of self-depreciation which was regrettably absent from most of the other acts. Jon Comlay is merely a reference to a man they know, as Sam the guitarist explained: “He used to make fun of our surnames, so we thought it would be amusing to use his.” They dance like Beyonce, they have unpretentious hair, and they made a roomful of relatively sober people shout “Three good songs and a heroin addiction.” I love Jon Comlay.
