The other day, as I munched happily on a ham sandwich my phone began to ring. It was my girlfriend. “Hello!” I said – “what are you up to..?” There then ensued a preliminary series of niceties (always the way, even with girlfriends) before she got to the point and asked me if I could look up for her, on the internet, the directions to The Coral gig in Bracknell as her and her flatmates were lost on their way there. She also mentioned something about her and some kind of overzealous bathing arrangement.

You can see now why it’s a request that stuck in my mind. Now, never having been to Bracknell, I could of course only offer a series of road names that would lead them towards their destination. However, I reflected later, how lucky Claire was that she has a pathological pedant for a boyfriend. For it is often the case when asking for directions that you end up more lost than you were when you started.

Have you ever asked for directions and been told that your desired destination is “literally around the corner” or “literally opposite the supermarket”? You have? The frequency that said destination is within line of sight of the mentioned landmark, let alone literally right next to it, is impossibly low. I once had an interview in York in a place that was “literally” 15 minutes up the road. It took me almost an hour to get there.

Ok, so I’m bitter, I’m really just annoyed that a bunch of blokes in Bracknell got to see my girlfriend in her swimming costume… what sort of name is The Coral anyway?

Related posts:

• Somewhat lacking vision
• Tories on the turn: Davis strives for policy direction
• Inside the wardrobe of a student style icon: The art of a jumper
• Uncle Matthew
• No oozing on the River Ouse