Old Blighty’s washed-out beach resorts revisited
Scarborough, Costa del Fish and Chips
One of the many things every York student should do before they graduate (along with doing the Micklegate run, rolling down Clifford’s Tower, and severely damaging their liver with cheap K2Ices at Ziggys) is to take a day trip to Scarborough. Ok, this doesn’t sound quite as accessiable or, perhaps, exciting as the other activities mentioned, but it has much to offer the stressed-out student. When the sun is shining and you know that soon you will be spending two weeks chained to a library desk pondering some incredibly innane and irrelevant academic question, having a day at the seaside is the perfect way to relax and, albeit briefly, ‘get away from it all.’
A day return to Scarborough costs £8.60 with a Railcard, and takes less than an hour to get to from York, so there is no excuse. To make yourself feel like the cultured, intellegent student you kid yourself you are, take a trip to Scarborough Castle. The fortress endured two major sieges during the Civil War and from 1650 was used as a prision and barracks. It offers stunning views of the North and South Bays and costs only £2.50 entrance. If you wish to be healthy as well as cultured, then hiking up the hill to your destination may appeal. However, you can also drive round the back to preserve your energy for playing on the beach later. Another activity of natural interest is taking a ride on the cliff lifts, which provide you with great views of the coast with no dangerous headland-walking required.
The compulsory part of any visit to Scarborough is frittering away your loan in the amusements, and oh there are plenty of opportunities. Not only do they have the machines which allow you to enter all your 10ps with no chance of gaining anything in return but they also house the 2p slot machines which often pay out, leaving you with more fake money than you could ever want or use. The horse racing simulation is to be recommended as it proves a good workout and the cuddly toys on offer in the grabber machines are suprisingly good quality…well you’d hope so too since you end up paying about a tenner for a stuffed Winnie The Pooh.
Of course you have to indulge in a hearty helping of fish and chips whenever you are at the seaside and Winking Willy’s is recommended as a fine fish frying establishment. Along with the traditional beach activities: frisbee (for the more athletic types), badminton (for those easily amused by the shuttlecock getting stuck in the racket repeatedly) and sandcastle building for the young at heart, there are also more adreneline inducing water sports on offer. The South Bay proves a good surfing ground, and windsurfing and kitesurfing are also avaliable. If you’re not that adventurous the clean beaches initiative has ensured that the water is clean enough for a leisurely paddle or swim.
Along with a respectable number of bars and clubs, Scarborough boasts an annual free music event. H2004Beached is held on South Bay beach over one weekend every summer. This year the weekend of live music will be held on Saturday 17th and Sunday 18th of July and confirmed acts include Laika Dog, a band featuring ex-Terrorvision star Tony Wright, Tom Hingley and the Lovers, the Inspiral Carpets frontman and R & B star Roachford. There are also fringe events in nearby venues with tickets priced from £15-£20, including The Grand Central Records Beached All Nighter, which allows clubbers to dance the night away from midnight to 6am.
With much to offer the youth of today both during the day, and well into the early hours, the town has enough to make it worth a visit. So, are you going to Scarborough Fayre? You should.
Jenny Lee and Jo-ann Hodgson
Blackpool, the Las Vegas of Europe?
So, when you think of Blackpool you’d probably imagine a sordid, tacky town filled with pissed up townies and the occasional disorientated granny who used to go there as child when it was actually nice, right? Well, you’re not far wrong. But search for long enough and you’ll discover that this much-maligned town actually has some of the best attractions in the whole, yes the whole, of the north-west! Where else can you get a cup of tea for only 10p, buy penises made out of chocolate 24/7 and witness hen or stag party participants making complete arses of themselves every couple of hours?
Admittedly, stepping into the sea at Blackpool is a slightly less appealing prospect than jumping into the campus lake, so swimming isn’t really recommended. But a good few hours of entertainment can be garnered watching those tourists who are foolhardy enough to try it emerge looking slightly ill and, occasionally, melting. The sand dunes further up the coast are rather pleasant for a healthy stroll, but be prepared to stumble across copulating couples. I realize this, rather than any actual liking for the great outdoors, may be the factor motivating you to visit these natural wonders. If you want to participate in one of these sand-covered, two-backed beasts the place to get all partnered up is the brand spanking new Syndicate ‘superclub’. With a capacity of several thousand, this is the centre of Blackpool’s nightlife and houses a revolving dance floor which provides hours of fun and subsequent days of pain.
Away from the formidably huge mass of the superclub, several smaller clubs catering to all tastes of music, a wide range of bars, strip clubs (for both sexes) and many gay bars survive, and are well worth having a look for. If you’re hung over the next day I have it on very good authority that a bracing ride on the UK’s tallest rollercoaster in the local theme park will perk you right up. The memory of a group of kids – spurred on by a promise from Jim’ll Fix It- eating their packed lunches on the ride and being violently ill is enough to put me right off. At least you might get some interesting souvenir photos. Although the main amusement park – ‘The Pleasure Beach’ – undoubtably holds the monopoly on adrenaline-filled high-tech rides, if you want a real taste of danger head for one of the three archaic piers spaced along the sea front. These piers support a good many fair-ground style rides which appear to have last been updated during the reign of Queen Victoria. The most thrilling of these is undoubtably the giant ferris wheel on the Central Pier and the sense of danger on this stereotypically staid attraction can surely only be heightened by the knowledge that its predecessor toppled into the sea, providing, no doubt a spectacular visual feat rivalled only by the screams of terror from those trapped inside.
The famous Blackpool tower is also an integral part of any visit, but for maximum enjoyment make sure you take a mate who suffers from vertigo. Also, try not to be too worried by the heavy netting around the top to stop suicide attempts. You probably should, however, be mildly concerned by the number of man-sized holes which have appeared in this netting over the last few years. Apparently not everyone finds Blackpool such a wonderful experience. The tower, however, has been home to a few famous acts, the most recent being the incredibly popular Peter Kay. So, if you don’t mind heights and fancy a bit of a giggle, then a trip to the lofty heights of the tower might just be exactly what you have always wanted.
Blackpool has, however, recently begun to make an effort to gain a more cultural reputation for itself. This startling change of image has manifested itself in a series of modern art sculptures placed along the sea front. Don’t worry though, it’s not getting too classy, the most notable of these sculptures is the enigmatically titled ‘They shoot horses, don’t they?’ ( I have no idea why), which is, in fact,the largest disco ball in the world! This 10 metre-high sphere of mirrored loveliness is within walking distance of many of the town’s finest drinking establishments and, as such, provides a post-club venue for drunken frolicking amidst the whirling squares of light. Be careful not to be too hammered though, as like many aspects of Blackpool it’s likely to make you disoriented and mildly nauseous.
Blackpool is not an expensive day out, but don’t worry, you won’t leave with a pocketful of loose change, as there are seemingly millions of brightly lit arcades dotted along the main street where you can happily go in with £15 pounds of small change and emerge blinking into the sunlight several hours later, clutching only a bouncy ball and a tasteful porcelain figure.
There are so many weird and wonderful things to do in Blackpool that you can’t help but enjoy yourself, so leave your cynicism in York for a day and be prepared to enjoy the clichés.
Sarah Vincent
Brighton, the Pride of the South Coast
Brighton is fast gaining a reputation as the place to be seen in. It has managed to shed the Punch & Judy show, candyfloss stall image of the stereotypical seaside resort. Instead, Brighton is the only town in which body piercing is the local pastime, alternative sexuality a fashion statement, and in which anyone with naturally coloured hair is looked upon as a freak from the outside world of sensibilities. Radio 1, seizing upon the new life running through the veins of this once sleepy resort, now hold an annual summer music festival on the beach with Fat Boy Slim headlining. In any other town, the council would have mounted a campaign in protest and the locals declared the festival a celebration of the evil music of young people, but the people of Brighton seem to be more than happy to get involved.
Brighton is the town in which you can do everything that your parents would say that you shouldn’t. Go to a shop that will gladly pierce any part of your body for a most reasonable price, sun yourself in the Pavilion gardens immersed in the sweet aromas of recreational drugs, or go to some of the most diverse and alternative bars and nightclubs that you will ever see. Then, feeling somewhat worse for wear, you can wander down to the sea front, sit down on the shingle and consider what a truly wonderful place Brighton is.
Out of all the towns and cities upon the South coast, Brighton is one of the few lacking in transport to the continent. Despite the obvious lack of an underground rail tunnel and a steady stream of ferries that would normally be needed to take us away from uptight British attitudes, the people of Brighton possess a laid back attitude to life that you often only see on the continent. Perhaps it is because Brighton also lacks the industry that comes with the cross-channel transportation, that it is able to focus itself upon much more amiable and people-orientated projects, namely sun bathing and smoking cannabis.
Much to the delight of the childish instinct within us all, Brighton still retains one reminder of its beach resort history in the fair ground that is perched precariously upon the end of the pier. The fairground is the true traditional experience, with unmaintained rides which you feel could explode or collapse at any moment, but this merely adds to the thrill. Brighton has always been the place to be seen. In the early 19th century, the Prince Regent proclaimed the benefits of bathing in the sea at this then insignificant village. Within months, the town began to boom as people came to indulge in the royal pastime. It seems fitting, then, that this fun-loving town of Brighton was first popularised by that most gluttonous and over indulgent monarch, the Prince Regent.
It is beyond me to guess as to why the Labour party holds its annual conference in this loud-mouthed and extravagant town. However, if Tony Blair returns to parliament with pink hair, a nipple piercing, and a hippie boyfriend called Zippity-Do-Dah, I would not be surprised.
Everyone should go to Brighton at least once. It truly is an experience which you will never forget. And when you come back, I am absolutely certain that you will love it just as much as I do.
Sam Fugill
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